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Visions Lost On Time
Contributed by
lostrelic
on
Friday, 21st March 2014 @ 01:14:49 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
In deep prophecy I've read the sign of the times.
It told me to tread lightly on soiled grounds.
To seek higher authority on the rules of man,
boldly go to old found lands.
In this dream the winds did blow,
vision was kept as time did flow.
Children's heartache was on i'll regret,
lost on gold that was highly kept.
Lands we conquered for brittle bones,
trapped remains as gasses flowed.
Trees we cut for lavish estates,
the wind takes with no mistakes.
Jewels and stones,blood diamonds flowed.
In mans heart the greed did grow.
Wars were waged for old mans pride,
lost on guilt they try to hide.
An uprising will come dwelt by the rulers decree.
Forced illusion will be set free.
Security for freedom the cage will fall.
Taking with it the love of all.
Darkened times will be cut short,
Voices raised will design new courts.
New beginnings with spoiled hands,
will remake the world with cleaner lands.
With this I witnesses a sullen few,
lost on anger for times of new.
Built with rage from parents crimes,
lost on hate from smaller minds.
This path was built with colored sins,
lost of anguish of differences.
In a world that needs to be set free,
on the streets their rage will be.
In the end colors will fade,
indifference will be finally praised.
Equality the song will ring,
a new example freedom will bring.
Copyright ©
lostrelic
... [
2014-03-21 13:14:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Visions Lost On Time
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Friday, 21st March 2014 @ 03:04:33 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Some very nice turns of phrase. Dreamily utopian, but wonderful to imagine. Good job on bringing in the heart of man. I like this. I think if you revisit it and check spelling and flow a little, you can greatly improve this.
Example only-
"New beginnings with spoiled hands,
will remake the world with cleaner lands."
"New beginnings from spoiled lands,
will remake the world with cleaner hands."
Look for choppiness and consider alternatives.
Thank you for sharing how I feel. Very well done. |
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Re: Visions Lost On Time
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 24th May 2014 @ 01:16:19 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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truly beautiful, it flows like a river,
hugs n' love nessa |
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