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Trapped in Denial.

Contributed by Sallyssongg on Monday, 3rd March 2014 @ 09:43:36 PM in AEST
Topic: drugabuse

Everything I thought I knew.
The everlasting breaths I took in with you.
Tell me can something be so real.?
My dreams aren't dreams anymore.
They're always nightmares about you.
I wish to have you with me forever.
I push away and tell myself never.
Do I need you as much as I feel.?
Crashing down on reality's wheel.
Sober life is slow and dull.
It's a life without you..
A life without soul.
Why can't I get you out of my head.?
It's like my hearts inflated..
Beating faster n faster ferr you..
But the rest of me is dead.
I felt unexplainably alive with you.
A rush of excitement..
The burning sensation..
I never wanted to end.
Pushing myself forward n forward.
Harder n harder.
In hope for that rush that will never be felt again.
I wish I was smarter.
I wish I was stronger.
To fight off the world,
Not understanding.. Not willing to bend.
The fantasy that slowly became my reality.
In love with you.
And you love me too... But don't you.?
I can't stop.. I won't stop..
I won't let myself crash.
I'll fight the everlasting fight until everything is back to being alright..
For you I will...
It bugs me still.
I have the will to say no I'm done, I'm through.
Yet I find myself still chasing what I once had with you.
Can I ever go back..
To the person I see smiling back at me.?
Enjoying the simple pleasures..
Like smiling, laughing.. Really feeling happy.
I'm numb from you.. And no one understands.
Who can I talk to.? I've lost all of my friends.
Can you just leave me alone.?
Stop calling me, promising lies.
Making me want you.
Damn I really need you.
Sooo bad I'd do anything to have you..
Baby just one more time.
Let me call you mine.
Hold my hand as i'm struggling to say goodbye..
I'll do anything to have you..
I can't run, I can't hide..
I'm suffering. Just let me confide.
No. No.! I can't relapse..
I'm fighting so hard, I don't want to go back.
I try, n try, n try, n try.
But *****' it.
The worse that can happen is I'll finally die.
And i'll die because of you..
Die because of me..
Die because the person I've become is someone I swore I'd never be.
But I know everything will be alright.
As long as I get to take you in for just one more night.

Copyright © Sallyssongg ... [ 2014-03-03 21:43:36]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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