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Partly Damaged
Contributed by
Saira
on
Monday, 19th May 2003 @ 01:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
mystical
|
Here I lie low exasperated,
Slowly my dead soul gets evaporated.
Putting and rubbing salt, then licking my own wounds,
Have lost the count of passing moons.
Emptiness plays havoc with me,
Soot that I only breathe.
Broken wings, slumped emotions,
Dragging this spirit to the point of exclusion.
Left in an impenetrable darkness,
I’m only a deathly cold body.
Waiting for God's forgiveness,
I hope nothing would go awry.
Copyright ©
Saira
... [
2003-05-19 01:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 19th May 2003 @ 01:29:08 PM AEST
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| It's a very lovely write. I like its end. Really, we never should in any circumstances leave the hope! |
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 19th May 2003 @ 03:58:11 PM AEST
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| its goog to be see all ur poems that u keep the hope alive and ask the Lord to help u out. shows ur determination in life and the ur strength to hold on even in the most difficult of times. Keep it up hope to see more from u soon. ----------Nida |
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 19th May 2003 @ 04:02:52 PM AEST
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| its goog to see in all ur poems that u keep the hope alive and ask the Lord to help u out. shows ur determination in life and ur strength to hold on even in the most difficult of times. Keep it up hope to read more from u soon. keep it comin baby ;)----------Nida |
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Saira on
Monday, 19th May 2003 @ 04:46:29 PM AEST
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| Thanks for the comments and understanding the meaning it carries :-) |
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 19th May 2003 @ 04:48:48 PM AEST
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thats a beautifully arranged poem where the poetess shows his believ and faith in the mercifullness of God and feels the real taste of death which is the final destiny of all.arrangment of words and the expressions are really lovly.
ZABT KA EHD BHI HAI SHOQ KA PAIMAN BHI HAI
EHD-O-PAIMAN SE GUZAR JANE KO JEE CHAHTA HAI
DARD ITNA HAI KE RAG RAG MEIN HAI MEHSHAR BARPA
AUR SUKOON AISA KE MAR JANE KO JEE CHAHTA HAI
(FAIZ)
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Saira on
Monday, 19th May 2003 @ 04:49:47 PM AEST
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| Yes, we shouldn't. Glad u liked it. |
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 19th May 2003 @ 05:05:51 PM AEST
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certainly a nice 1. liked the end very much because of its reality. we should all keeps our hopes alive because Hes always there for us its just a matter for us to recognise His call.
keep up the good work i know u can do better than this.
Amir
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 19th May 2003 @ 05:34:05 PM AEST
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| Well.......a poem with so much pain...a poem with the unbearable loneliness and emptiness...it's like u r in the mist of nothingness...and waiting for the final departure..it's like looking at oneself...before leaving...It's a beautiful piece...and praise goes to poet. |
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Friday, 13th June 2003 @ 07:24:33 PM AEST
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| A very dramatic fantasy very well written. But I find it difficult to empathise with something so different to my own imaginings. |
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Saira on
Saturday, 14th June 2003 @ 09:43:16 AM AEST
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Well sometimes it's good to be misunderstood :-)
Thank you! |
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Good_King_Bragi on
Tuesday, 17th June 2003 @ 12:58:56 AM AEST
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Don't wait for others to help yourself, my friend.
Help yourself instead. |
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Saira on
Tuesday, 17th June 2003 @ 07:38:02 AM AEST
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Well, in this poem the person isn't waiting for others' help but only God.
Thanks for the sincere comment. I appreciate that :-) |
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Crow on
Friday, 4th July 2003 @ 04:34:10 PM AEST
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faith and hope are wonderful tools to keep us from the edge. i read strength in this, and you.
Crow |
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Re: Partly Damaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Saira on
Friday, 4th July 2003 @ 06:00:05 PM AEST
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| Yes, we should never loose hope. Thanks once again Crow. |
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