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Broken Thoughts
Contributed by
Sammy22nd
on
Saturday, 8th February 2014 @ 10:10:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Sometimes I think about you,
Yet it's never nothing new.
You broke my heart into pieces,
Haven't finished picking them up because your something my heart still misses.
I now I have to move on and I'm trying,
But no matter how many days go by your always on my mind.
Two weeks without talking to you,
Yet everyday I think about you.
I just wanted to let you know how I feel,
How the love I had for you was beyond real.
But now I have moved on and I don't plan on looking back,
I hope you have an amazing life and that you find everything you wanted to have.
Goodbye for now and forever,
Your something my heart will always remember.
Copyright ©
Sammy22nd
... [
2014-02-08 22:10:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Broken Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Senates on
Saturday, 8th February 2014 @ 10:54:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Great poem! I love the lines: You broke my heart into pieces,
Havent finished picking them up because your something my heart still misses.
Keep up the good work ^__^
-senates |
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Re: Broken Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 8th February 2014 @ 11:07:32 PM AEST
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Except for the repeated misuse of your, pretty good.
This sort of sounded odd: I now I have to move on
 to YPDC
Tim |
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Re: Broken Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Sunday, 9th February 2014 @ 12:28:06 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Great start for a first poem Sammy 22nd!
When you want to say "you are" write is as "you're". (you're something my heart still misses)
(you're always on my mind)
(You're something my heart will always remember)
When you want to say it belongs to you..write is as "your". (it's your decision)
When in doubt--spell it out!
(You are something my heart will always remember)
Nice little farewell to a loved one…I enjoyed this. Hope you keep writing, and hope you take the time to read and encourage others who write here as we have done for you.
softerware
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Re: Broken Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 9th February 2014 @ 06:14:06 AM AEST
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I really like this write. I think the title compensate for any thing you've said.
Keep it up as I enjoyed reading your first write.
Blessings, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Broken Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Monday, 10th February 2014 @ 02:01:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I applaud you
on your first Innervision,
flow on..... |
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