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No Title

Contributed by markymark on Monday, 5th August 2002 @ 06:35:47 AM in AEST
Topic: HumorPoetry



Oh ! Dear what can the matter be?
I've poled Martina Flaherty
Guess what her Mother said to me
Just wait till her Father gets home...

When i heard she was pregnant
well i could have died
I only ever kissed her
And looked in her eyes
In that case her Ma said
I must be "cockeyed"
I wont wait till her Father gets home...

I'm to young for a family
i'm only sixteen
Should be out with me mates... playing ball on the green
Now the talk is of weddings
And nappies it seems
I think that i should run away...

So early next morning
Straight out of bed
I packed me some clothes
And freshly baked bread
To eat on me journey
Dun-Laoighre i'm head
To catch me a boat far away...

So i bought me a ticket
To sail off to sea
Stood on the deck
Just watching the Quay
When i saw a small boat
Coming towards me
I wondered now who could that be...

He was rowing and rowing
And making a splash
Cut through the water, "like a dolphin on hash"
Hang on a minute, i know that moustache
Good jasus its "Martina's Dad"...

He was roaring and shouting
And going quite red
I caught words like
"Nadgers" and "Chopped off" and "Dead"
Somehow i dont think... he wants me to wed
I think i'll just slip over board...

So i dropped in the water
To swim to the shore
Her father still shouting, "he'll even the score"
The mans got a shotgun
I think its two bore
I'd better swim faster than this...

I was swimming and swimming
With all of me might
He let of both barrels, i got such a fright
Straight through me trousers
the one on the right
Took the full brunt of the blast...

I woke in the hospital... well below par
Me arm in a sling, me nuts in a jar
The Doctor came in and in front of me Ma
Said he had bad news to tell...

Him and the Surgeon, were up half the night
trying to save the one on the right
After a battle, a terrible fight
i've now lost the left one as well...

The point of the story, i'm trying to put
Stay away from the girls, if your fond of your nuts
Take up "knitting" or "jogging" or "golfing" instead
Or you'll end up with a pencil
Without any Lead...

MDM...7/7/97....




Copyright © markymark ... [ 2002-08-05 06:35:47]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: No Title (User Rating: 1 )
by Chrissie on Monday, 5th August 2002 @ 08:37:27 AM AEST
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Mark darlin' ....lol lol lol
Chrissie xx


Re: No Title (User Rating: 1 )
by ginsdance on Monday, 5th August 2002 @ 05:45:06 PM AEST
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oh my gosh... I can't stop laughing... I've got tears I'm laughing so hard. This was great...
ginsdance... lol...


Re: No Title (User Rating: 1 )
by lil_hummingbird on Thursday, 8th August 2002 @ 09:55:54 AM AEST
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This was so very very good. Thanks for making me laugh. Good job!




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