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Happy Pain
Contributed by
lonelywolf04
on
Monday, 12th August 2013 @ 06:36:02 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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A happy pain,
That can drive one insane,
Shadowed by the night,
And hidden from sight,
As the darkness turns,
Your fire burns,
And I will be in hell tonight
Blinded by the brightness of your light.
Copyright ©
lonelywolf04
... [
2013-08-12 06:36:02] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Happy Pain
(User Rating: 1 ) by Waynster on
Thursday, 26th February 2015 @ 06:51:45 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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My personal opinion is that this poem could be stretched out. You could use the words or lines you have here and add an additional line to each one instead of rhyming each line, try rhyming every other line. Either 1st and 3rd or 2nd and 4th. Try that and see if the poem will flow better.
Wayne |
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