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Santa's Wife was a Dependent Clause
Contributed by
softerware
on
Sunday, 30th June 2013 @ 08:09:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
We landed men upon the moon;
And microwaved our meals,
Long before we thought of
putting suitcases on wheels!
Computers now do everything;
While I just hunt and peck.
Except for one small oversight:
There is no GRAMMAR CHECK!
They spell and sort and print and speak,
And wrap my work in themes!
But conjugate a simple verb? Only in my dreams!
Plain English is no longer plain;
in case you haven’t guessed!
And I forget the rhymes and rules;
I once so well possessed!
Change “y” to “i” and add “es”
Turning sky to skies I guess…
So why is whies;
and guy is guies?
It’s pluraleeze distress!
Remember “i” before the “e”?
Except I think when we’re at sea;
Cause surely we would never say;
Get that anchor on its wiegh!
I know that I should never let my participle dangle;
Or let a preposition end a sentence I’ve untangled.
A prefix though, can change a word before its’ even spoken!
Like the “con” in nettiuct, and the "ho" in boken.
There's suffixes like “ly”
that wholly lack of truth!
And prefixes that vanish;
Like “un” without it’s cooth .
Insure, assure, ensure,
“God bless you!” I reply.
Why not just call it guarantee?
Be done with it! Good bye!
Who, whom, whose, I ask you;
Who calls you whom these days?
Except of course at weddings when they give the bride away..
Not all nouns are proper;
It’s in the name they say;
Listen up name-droppers:
The PROnouns work for pay!
The auntonymns are pious; the sinonyms are not;
the freeway’s fraught with idioms, and I’ve met quite a lot!
But like those silent letters; the “B” in debt and comb;
It’s time to rap this wranting up and take my self back homb!
Copyright ©
softerware
... [
2013-06-30 20:09:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Santa's Wife was a Dependent Clause
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 1st July 2013 @ 12:31:33 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| Heeheehee...that's great! |
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Re: Santa's Wife was a Dependent Clause
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 3rd July 2013 @ 12:04:24 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Awesome.
Blessings,
emy |
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