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What You Don’t See
Contributed by
spike
on
Friday, 3rd May 2013 @ 08:36:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
fish cry all the time;
it’s just too hard to tell
all that grief and loneliness
is swallowed by the swell
bats scream their anguish;
its just too shrill to hear
lost in endless caverns
that will not lend an ear
sometimes birds forget to fly;
lions mislay their roar
people lose their purpose,
and wonder what life’s for.
Copyright ©
spike
... [
2013-05-03 20:36:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: What You Don’t See
(User Rating: 1 )
by karu on
Saturday, 4th May 2013 @ 11:50:26 AM AEST
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a Message)
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thoughtful poem
superrr |
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Re: What You Don’t See
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 5th May 2013 @ 12:02:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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looking at this title, I thought, oh boy, here's another dull, love sick, bore, to attempt to interpret and why would I want to.
So then, I was wrong. I think you're right to say, People lose their purpose and wonder what life is for, maybe animals do as well for what ever reason seldom explored. If a lion could write a journal, or an old bird, a sparrow, or say an old crow could say to the others, hey, watch out y'all for that crazy squirrel, the yearling being so innocent and all, needs/ no depends on you... What you don't see at first, then later do,
maybe isn't just a gilded relic/ purpose is so ambiguously bizarre Darwin maybe thought... we don't see so much, no one can at first.
We learn things, the old crow might contend...
I really like the physics of the lizard brain, the amygdala as it's been described in the human. The limbic system that supports emotion, behavior, motivation, long-term memory.
I was wrong about your title. I'm glad to have read your poem. Keep up the good work! :]) (this one deserves the mustached, happy face)
Peace!
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Re: What You Don’t See
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 5th May 2013 @ 12:13:45 AM AEST
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P.S --- forgot to add, your line, "fish cry all the time", reminds me of a high mountain lake where planes swoop down and implant freshwater fish. There where young fish die before their time because they are transplanted and as so challenged, weak by being transplanted into an environment they did not evolve from.
Then I thought of maybe an old fish who lived there, one no one never saw, how it or the few of them left, do cry. How they must.
What is life for --- well, it's certainly not cheap!
Thanks!
Peace!
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Re: What You Don’t See
(User Rating: 1 )
by davemus on
Tuesday, 7th May 2013 @ 07:03:02 PM AEST
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Liked this a lot. The metaphor using the animal kingdom is a good one and works well. Good Job.
Dave
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Re: What You Don’t See
(User Rating: 1 )
by davemus on
Friday, 17th May 2013 @ 11:11:05 AM AEST
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I like this metaphor, using the animal kingdom to portray human failings. Nicely done.
D |
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Re: What You Don’t See
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Sunday, 19th May 2013 @ 08:56:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| You Got Style. This is an awesome poem with a great message. |
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