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Ruined
Contributed by
Jilli_bean
on
Thursday, 15th May 2003 @ 07:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
She was young
She had spunk
Every morning she would
Tie her shoes
left shoe first, of course
then
she'd
Eat breakfast
took her exactly 7and one half minutes
She would do the normal kid routine
with a few adjustments
She could write
She understood the importance of her words
no just that they could rhyme
She was so full of ambition
Had naive hope
Her first day of school, she walked through the door with a brillant mind on her shoulders
And a collection of her works in her hand
the left one, Of course
The teacher told her that she should put it away,and sit up straight
She responded
"But that is me, and don't you want me here?"
"now angie, DONT argue, just PUT IT AWAY!"
"Teacher, why do you yell? Have I done something so awful or horrid to deserve this tone?"
"GIVE ME THAT!"
Snatched the teacher
Angie was missing her soul
So she went and sat up straight
in the the wooden square desks
like the other kids
She learned to stay quiet and curtsey
Like all the other good girls
she didn't want to argue anymore
She felt, if they could take her soul
they could do anything
So she gave
Began to let go and lose her talent
The spunk in her, just wasn't there
She became another statistic
of what a child should be
She finally fit into the mold
They won, are you happy now?
Copyright ©
Jilli_bean
... [
2003-05-15 07:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ruined
(User Rating: 1 )
by stargazer on
Thursday, 15th May 2003 @ 04:38:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Another statistic... the words of a real poet right there. I'm not happy with this poem... for the first time... I am not happy. Sorry and here's why.
It was too real. Laugh it up... but it was. It was so amazing that I hate it. You know? I hate things that are perfect and amazing and this was both.
So many people just follow the rules but what happened to all the rule breakers? Where did they go? They are part of that "cycle" you write about. Where is the white grass, surrounded by the green?
This was amazing. Just reread what I said. That is as true as I could possibly get.
Amy |
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Re: Ruined
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Sunday, 22nd June 2003 @ 01:07:27 PM AEST
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That was a bad school and a bad teacher.
You made me very sorry for that little girl.
My school were strict (that's how it was in the thirtees) but they did encourage any talent. They got us up on the stage, out on the sports field, writing poetry going places seeing things, the brought orchestras to the school, taught us music...................and more.
How did you get on later, they couldn't hold you back for ever?
I'm nearly 80 now and there are still oportunuties to "shine".
It was a good poem, made me angry. Well done |
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Re: Ruined
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bizzy on
Sunday, 29th June 2003 @ 07:02:23 PM AEST
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Hi, Jilli Bean! My daughter-in-law's nickname was Jilly Bean when she was young.
Your poem is very good, describes something very important for the world to know.
At your point in time, the words are very true to your feelings, but they don't need to be true for your life.
'They' have not ultimately 'won' some goal to make you 'sensible instead of a dreamer.' You just learned how to survive the situation. Life, with its unkind experiences are our teachers if we let them be. That teacher taught you what damage one like her can do to the spirit of a child,... so ... YOU WILL NOT BE LIKE HER!
You are writing, so your spirit won the battle after all. Yay, Jilli Bean! Bizzy |
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Re: Ruined
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jilli_bean on
Thursday, 3rd July 2003 @ 12:26:52 PM AEST
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| Thanks...truthfully I was so indulged...w/ me and how I felt on that poem and how it hit so close to home...I never thought of it that way... |
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