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Left Broken
Contributed by
18troyse
on
Sunday, 24th February 2013 @ 05:45:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
He loves me,
he loves me not.
Because of you,
I've not forgot.
I walk on water,
you walk on fire.
When I'm down,
you lift me higher.
But things get tough,
the love gets lost.
Because of you,
my heart is crossed.
My heart is like
a fresh white rose.
It will not die,
it will not close.
Because you yell,
I start to cry.
I know our rose
will soon just die.
Copyright ©
18troyse
... [
2013-02-24 17:45:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Left Broken
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tarheel_Treat on
Sunday, 24th February 2013 @ 05:56:26 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| great write! you kept a continuous rhyme scheme and tempo throughout the entire piece. I love the works of the comparisons. My favorite line: "I walk on water, you walk on fire"....it's like even though you do the impossible, the other person does more. That person is more brave and does more of the impossible. ..But, I really like the allusion at the end. It reminds me of Beauty and the Beast and the rose in the glass. Thanks for the ead. I really enjoyed it. :-) |
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Re: Left Broken
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tiny_Tina on
Wednesday, 20th March 2013 @ 02:36:58 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Failure. |
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