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Fresh Air

Contributed by Aledos on Thursday, 17th January 2013 @ 11:39:41 AM in AEST
Topic: dedicatedpoems

Half of the food in the World finds its grease mouth,
Half of it is thrown away.
Shouldn't it be sent down south?
For a child, thank you to have the strength to say.

African Crowned Eagle flops its two meters wings,
And a dust is lifted to hide the ceremony.
From the small torso, limbs and ribs-black skin is ripped!
This Eagle is the starved dead child’s purgatory, the child is its daily feast.

Sadness hits my life so hard,
I feel it preying on my heart.
Me and a boy share a similar faith and pain,
Of you and the Eagles ripping skin and bursting veins.

You are my Eagle, educated one!
You, sitting comfortably in your chair.
Why do WE not even move a finger,
So we can help these children in despair?

It’s the air me and you share that intoxicates me,
It’s the air you contaminate that will kill me.
Solitude I must find,
In these beautiful and extravagant advertisements of yours or in my simple rhyme.

Copyright Â© Aledos ... [ 2013-01-17 11:39:41]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Fresh Air (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 17th January 2013 @ 08:27:50 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Your caring heart is in the right place by showing compassion for starving children and the world. Well written even though I am not completely understanding it. That's my bad, not yours.

Think it would sound better if this line flops its two meter wings,

read flaps its two meters wings.

I do think, however, it is inappropriate to request comments on your work and not read/comment on other members' work here at the site.

photo 1036153111_gif.gif

photo 1036153111_gif.gif

to YPDC.

Tim

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