|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
What's your Emotion?
Contributed by
MogulPoet
on
Wednesday, 9th January 2013 @ 07:24:43 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I fall into the deepest pit of emotion.
Not evening knowing what put me in this notion.
It's nothing like sitting on the shoreline of the ocean,
There's a whole lot more of a commotion.
And I feel as if life has given me the opposite of a promotion.
Yeah that's right it's a demotion!
It's as if the last few years have been set in slow motion,
I'm not moving anywhere like any ole locomotion.
All I do here is listen to other people's problems and show them my devotion.
What I want is a motivation potion.
That way I can live my life in the onward motion,
And get out of this pit of emotion.
Copyright ©
MogulPoet
... [
2013-01-09 19:24:43] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: What's your Emotion?
(User Rating: 1 ) by Tarheel_Treat on
Tuesday, 19th February 2013 @ 02:13:16 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I liked your poem. There are just a few things:
1) I think you meant "even" and not "evening" in L2 -I could be wrong.
2)L5 and L6 seem too redundant. If you want to say what you have to say without being too literal, I think that you should cut out L6.....but, It's just a suggestion.
Thanks for the good read! :-) |
|
|
|