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The Art of Farts in a Tin near Tim

Contributed by Betty_Hapgood on Sunday, 4th August 2002 @ 09:14:28 PM in AEST
Topic: MiscPoems

Can’t be bothered to even fart in a tin or on Tim
Or just Tim
I used to enjoy farting on Tim

Tim looks at me sideways,
With a look of suspicion
A look that said “please, not again”
He is a man, a tortured man
A man who has seen it all
He saw my best fart of a generation
Stinky, hysterical, eggy
Rotten and rancid, foul of odour
Wafting slowly towards Tim
To be born

It was that fart
Which caused the mining disaster
New York, 1941

The following year it reached Kentucky
Causing multiple pile-ups
Hurricanes and bush fires
But enough about my fart
Let me tell you about my burps

It was 1998
I looked at Tim
Tim looked scared
Or excited
Or both
I was drinking pop
Soda pop
And
Apples

Apples and soda
Give me burps
Already

Anyway, I did
A big burp
And it was
As loud
As concorde
A concorde jet
Tim went flying
Across the room
With the force
Of my monstrous burp
But oddly enough
He was cheering

“More burps!”
“More burps!” he cried
“I love ‘em”
He hit the wall
And fell to the floor
And, covered in blood
He managed a weak smile
“Blimey, what a
large burp”, he commented
As the blood
Trickled from his lips
And ears
“More! More!”

But enough about
My burp
Let me tell you
About my sneezing

My sneezing is very dull
It dribbles out into my hanky
In puffs and drools
Tim is not very impressed
So I sat on him

Copyright Â© Betty_Hapgood ... [ 2002-08-04 21:14:28]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The Art of Farts in a Tin near Tim (User Rating: 1 )
by Rose on Monday, 5th August 2002 @ 01:28:19 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Well, I should say this goes under humerous poetry!!! I needed a laugh, for being so down of late. Your off the wall crack up story is funny, and I needed that. Thanks....
You certainly know how to write about those things folks don't like to talk about.
good funny write... Ps, my ex shook the table at a restaurant one day, and the people behind us thought there was a truck off the highway going by!!!! oh well, life's full of surprises, including the ones we least expect from our internal organs!!!
Amber Rose :)

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