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Perspective
Contributed by
cathartic
on
Sunday, 21st October 2012 @ 11:29:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I find shade in your shadow
I feel warmth within your cool
I take notice of your open palm and trace the lines with my eyes
I’m no fortuneteller but your road is paved with blue
I break the silence with my exasperated sigh
As I breathe out, millions of words fly into the atmosphere, staining the walls. Words only you can see.
I run miles in my mind and rest on a memory of you and me
Summer 06
I sit with us and bask in the sunlight that seeps through the sky made of forest trees.
I witness our love, in its natural habitat
How beautiful it begins and how tragically it ends
Your hands bleed from cleaning the mess my jagged words shed
I sympathize with your open palm.
This time I opt for silence.
Copyright ©
cathartic
... [
2012-10-21 23:29:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Perspective
(User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on
Monday, 22nd October 2012 @ 03:58:55 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| It's pretty good. You start to ramble a bit in the middle and mess your own flow up a little bit, but overall it's a decent piece. Just needs to be cleaned up a bit. |
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Re: Perspective
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Monday, 22nd October 2012 @ 07:25:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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very heartfelt!! enjoyed the deep emotional and use of wording
vampyress Jenni |
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Re: Perspective
(User Rating: 1 )
by workinprogress on
Monday, 22nd October 2012 @ 09:53:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is great word play and flow, it's very intriguing and makes me want to know more. Thanks! |
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Re: Perspective
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kelseigh on
Saturday, 27th October 2012 @ 08:02:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I like it...one of the ones I would add to my favorites |
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Re: Perspective
(User Rating: 1 )
by NightMareShoGun on
Tuesday, 18th December 2012 @ 12:20:20 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| nicely done on your work |
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