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What Do You Want From Me?
Contributed by
AznDemon300
on
Saturday, 22nd September 2012 @ 03:29:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
Everyday I wake up, I'm greeted with a black cloud.
A cloud like a dog that continuously follows me.
A cloud that stays no matter how far I try to blow it away.
It is this exact cloud that has been playing with my mind ever since.
This cloud isn't just any ordinary cloud that sprinkles rain on your head.
This cloud is designed to make your life into a thunderstorm, just like itself.
A life from happiness and joy to thunder and misery every single day.
When challenges come, I constantly tell myself that I can do it.
I tell myself no matter how easy or hard the challenge is, I can do it.
At this moment is when the black cloud comes in, taking away my confidence.
Just when I thought I could accomplish something so easy, this cloud had to interfere.
After realizing how I couldn't even do something this simple, I felt worthless.
I looked up at the dark sky and said, "What kind of game are you playing?"
This black cloud has a characteristic like germs on a human hand.
This black cloud doesn't only follow me, it spreads to people I be with.
Everything I touch, I end up breaking or ruining it.
Everyone I spend time with, I end up turning their lives into ones like mine.
I feel like a human being that can't do anything, but only do harm.
I looked at the dark sky and said, "Playing with me is one, but with my friends?"
"They are innocent!" "I rather have you play with my life then theirs!"
"What is it?" "What do you want from me?" "Just tell me, please."
Copyright ©
AznDemon300
... [
2012-09-22 15:29:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: What Do You Want From Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 22nd September 2012 @ 11:47:53 PM AEST
(User
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a Message)
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This is good. You should keep on writing, it's like Run Rabbit Run, by John Updike, don't know if you ever read that novel that had sequel...
Run baby run is this song out there that's really catchy, nobody knows the words, the rhythm is so rolling on...
You capture ordinary and you should know that that is profound. Read, slow it down perhaps, speed it up as well.
You have characteristics and structure, sad, perhaps ancient, that need to be expressed.
Remember, adjacent to your thoughts are many more.
Thanks! PS, hope that's not too much of a blank critique. Sometimes what other people want from you isn't of important consequence. Dream lucid dream, word, poetry,
illusion, small, snail, ocean breeze. Use new ones, context will come to you..
Peace!
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