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The Pilgrimage

Contributed by MAITRI_GANDHI on Tuesday, 28th August 2012 @ 08:00:11 AM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

i stand on the peak of the mountain of life
valleys on both my sides
but one leads to love
n the other leads to denial
there friction on d road of the latter
and its smoother towards love.
i feel better walkin down that road
its a new extraordinary experiance
denial is rough n insignificant
but love is merrier
tall trees on its roadside
tall grass on d other's
bright sunshine on one side
heavy rain on the other
but denial seems fair at the end
maybe its a little too early
to turn into a pilgrim
but it would be a golden surpise
to run into u on love's road
so we could walk together
hand in hand, palm in palm
and since the mountain is never
going to grow or shrink
so its best to lean towards the ray of love
than the shadow of denial.
and that is what i will do
i will follow my heart
because, this is my pilgrimage...

Copyright © MAITRI_GANDHI ... [ 2012-08-28 08:00:11]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The Pilgrimage (User Rating: 1 )
by FragileStrength on Wednesday, 29th August 2012 @ 04:49:47 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This was good, there were a few things; you put n for i believe and and d for the, I'm not sure if that was intentional or not. Also I think you should put a little description in the preview section. To catch people's eyes so more would read your poem. As a suggestion for something easy you could put the lines
"one leads to love
n the other leads to denial"
I loved those lines and how they flowed.

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