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Depressions Touch (happy you stayed)
Contributed by
damian
on
Sunday, 26th August 2012 @ 06:51:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
dedicatedpoems
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Angels cry, as the tears fly
All emotion comes out in a breathless sigh
Never really been loved before
Struggling to find something worth fighting for
The anger, the panic, the pain, it’s all inside me
Eating away from the inside, no chance to flee
It burns and it twists,
And gives off a fiery hiss
Until I strike out and hit solid in a panic attack
Stayed my length in this town, it’s time to pack
Blood streams down my fists,
Leaving a bloody track
What would you know?
What scars do you have, that you don’t show?
I have been let down from the moment I was born
Lost so many brothers, always left to mourn
But nobody seems to understand just how badly I am torn
I’m searching through the wreckage, of a life with nothing to salvage
But there is nothing here worth my effort to pillage
Do you know what came when needed?
When nothing else would listen as I pleaded
A girl who understood me, who helped me out
What i didn’t know is that she was always sneaking out
As I remained loyal she was added to the list that let me down
The night I saw you getting with my best mate I didn’t even frown
You see I was so used to being let down, I expected it all
I didn’t say a word, I just turned around
Because every bridge that she had helped me build,
Had just been burned down
Wanting death but never had the courage to end a life
Picked up the drugs and walked a line as sharp as the edge of a knife
And you all judged why I left this world for a few single hours
As I would smoke the sacred petals of weeds and flowers
It was all for that pain, it wasn’t just to fit in
I just wanted to fill that empty whole, that blackened pit
You don’t understand, depression is a type of cancer
Every time I seemed okay it came back with an added enhancer
And ripped away at all the confidence i had started to build
And left my soul, lifeless and coldly chilled
These words are for anyone who ever felt depressions touch
Who ever felt that every day, it was all just too much?
And these lines are for my mates up in heaven
Marksy, Delilah, Jack and my boy Kevin
I’m not afraid to say that when you guys died
Day in, day out, every single one of us cried
I still sometimes cry myself to sleep late at night
When the war seems way too hard for me to fight
And I cry to the morning, when I first see the sun
And I know that another day of hell has begun
It’s too early to let go, too late to hang on
And the weight on our shoulders seems many a tonne
The emotions are running deep in me
You want to know some more?
I was the one who killed one of my mates
I know what you all say, the doing was fates
But I let us get in that car, and I knew Marksy was drunk
And the worst thing was, after we hit that trunk
I was awake the whole time, I saw it all
I saw Del next to me as she began to fall,
The fear in her eyes as the car crushed in her side
It’s those last few seconds from which I can never hide
They haunt me, they hinder, every singly night
As you both left with the angels in a one way flight
I awake from nightmares, screaming, drenched in sweat
As I’m forced to relive the moment the car and tree met
How long did I stay in that car, it seemed like forever
Yet time had no value to me, it was all part of never
How I screamed until hoarse at a moon that remained unblemished
As every single sane cell I had left in me cherished
Oh but nobody cares, yet they say that they do
They care about themselves, not me or you
I hide my feelings behind a rock hard wall
It’s only on the odd night that these walls fall
But when they do the tears flow and flow
And I’m left feeling the lowest low
And that is why I hit the drugs and alcohol
While you and your friends think that they know
You think I’m doing it to make me feel cool
Live you’re ***** life in my shoes if you think that’s why
See how far you get, the drinking numbed the pain
It took away that blame I placed on myself, and with it the shame
But still you spread the word that I’m not the same
That all my friends are messed up, that we’re playing life like a game
Well how about you hear our story out first
Then maybe you will know why I have this anger always ready to burst
That’s why I started fighting, to place the blame on another soul
It enriched my mind, and made me whole
The drugs, the drugs, the drugs
The shoves and the tugs
Falling into a spiral, with a non-existent floor
Now you see why I never felt good enough, but you still expect more?
Then you came, you know who you are
The girl of my dreams, lighting my world up like a star
The alcohol, the drugs, it all stopped in an instant
For once in my life I felt existent
You make me smile, like a fool, every day
More than that, you gave me a reason to live, and find another way
I had never before planned for the future at all,
Always thought id be dead by the end of this fall
But you have me planning ahead, about my life with you
For you I will always stay completely true
They say when you first meet your soul mate,
You get butterflies at first site, and chills from fate
Every time I lay eyes on you, I get the same feeling as the first time
You have stolen my heart, but it’s the perfect crime
I’m not ashamed at all, to shout it to the world
I’m in love with the most beautiful girl in the world
I can be myself, and laugh and smile
And give her all my love, in one big pile
I promised her from the very first day
That no matter what happened I will be here to stay
She doesn’t realise how perfect she is in her own way
Always been put down, made to feel like the darkest grey
She is her own worst enemy in her head
But it’s her past, which to here has lead
I’m so keen to travel the world, her hand always in mine
Never letting her go, not letting her fall of this line
I will marry her one day; she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen
I love you, every single part of this I do mean
So I guess there’s my story, there is a lot to learn
There are as many paths you may take, as there are leaves on a fern
The main moral you should take from this story is here:
There is no need in your life to follow glory
Sometimes all it takes is something, or someone to believe in to pull you through
But it takes time, and in this time you must be true
When things are looking hard, never give up, it will be okay
One day soon, you will find something that will make you happy you stayed
Copyright ©
damian
... [
2012-08-26 18:51:37] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Depressions Touch (happy you stayed)
(User Rating: 1 ) by LauranHyde on
Monday, 27th August 2012 @ 05:49:27 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This made me cry. So much emotion, karina is the most luckiest girl. I'm glad you found her dessy. Your writing is so vivid. |
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Re: Depressions Touch (happy you stayed)
(User Rating: 1 ) by desire on
Wednesday, 29th August 2012 @ 05:04:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This was yet another beautiful poem full of pain, with hope walking in, I was drawn to every word, Your emotion were falling off every line. I felt it. Its a beautiful thing when someone lays their heart bare for the world to see, a honest brave write. Kiddos to you and the love in your life, stay blessed
Shirlee, |
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