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Rhythm and Blues
Contributed by
northernlights
on
Wednesday, 25th July 2012 @ 02:13:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
I was born on the wrong side of right.
To a mother’s arms already full.
And the angels sang and the church bells rang
As my eyes followed my daddy’s shadow.
My brother's eyes turned green before a shade of
Mean, as he rejected mother love, and the
Moral fibres broke and I learnt to choke, on emotion!
And mother’s eyes turned to blame me.
My life defiled, my ways turned wild and I looked
For love down every wrong direction, I learned to run on
Empty to never feel full.I spent the rest of my days
Wise to worldly ways where nothing is complete.
And the day became night and I gave up the fight
And the pot of glue for fixing, I let the wheels spin
And I learnt to give in, and the rhythm is wrong
And the rhythm is wrong, but I can live with
That.
Copyright ©
northernlights
... [
2012-07-25 14:13:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Rhythm and Blues
(User Rating: 1 )
by Deidra_Carmichael on
Wednesday, 25th July 2012 @ 08:53:29 PM AEST
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What an emotional message this bears! If Jane Eyre (or better yet Charlotte Bronte) we're to read this she would find a true connection. A wonderful poem and, might I say, that it deserves praise for its unique effect,
Deidra |
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Re: Rhythm and Blues
(User Rating: 1 )
by soulsongs on
Wednesday, 25th July 2012 @ 09:14:52 PM AEST
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| Great job getting that anguish down on paper! |
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Re: Rhythm and Blues
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 26th July 2012 @ 10:37:55 AM AEST
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Okay, being completely honest, I first found myself reading this along with the rhythm and blues riffs going on in my head. Even the repetition in the last couple of lines fit perfectly. I felt the need to apologize at first but then I felt your genius instead needed recogntion so I applaud thee. That effect was really great because really, what is rhythm and blues but often to sing about the difficulties of life. So instead of apologizing for my supposed disrespect I instead thank you for your gift of creation.
I did just read it again but still would like to go back and work out the timing issues that my cranium had the first go around.
Also, on another note, I see some similarities here and commonalities between out lives.
Take care and huge hug.
Tim |
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Re: Rhythm and Blues
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Sunday, 29th July 2012 @ 05:02:17 PM AEST
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Loved it, something hypnotic about the way you wrote this.
I've often read other people's work and thought "wow, how did they do that?".
I guess the mind is a wonderful thing and a look into someone else's mind fascinating.
Nice work
Steve |
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Re: Rhythm and Blues
(User Rating: 1 )
by spud on
Tuesday, 31st July 2012 @ 02:03:31 PM AEST
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| Hi Anna, An emotional rendition of trial, error, and reservation. Only someone who has a deep sense of their own self could write so eloquently. Rhythm and rhyme (of life) comes from the heart, and it has stamped its influence all over this piece. Tommy |
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