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A Heavenly Place
Contributed by
waynster
on
Saturday, 21st July 2012 @ 03:44:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
PoemsonBeauty
|
Clouds in the sky,
a big cross also in my view.
Being on that mountain,
i felt like Jesus was there too.
The beauty of the land
as it meets the sky.
Also looking at the cross
knowing on one, Jesus did die.
My trip to the mountain,
my wife by my side.
This day she was more like a friend,
not so much like my bride.
The wind was blowing hard,
a cool breeze on my face.
Looking from the top of the mountain,
down upon villages at its base.
Just setting and looking,
from this mountain to afar.
Sometimes it takes a magical place like this
to find out where we really are.
My visit to this mountain,
a three hour walk to the top.
A fairly high elevation
made the pressure in my ears pop.
Feeling so close to the heavens,
with this cross reminding me of God.
I climbed to the very top,
touched the cross and gave my head a nod.
Look at the land
the land that lay beneath my feet.
It was a very far walk
my body all sweaty and beat.
Completing a circle
watching the view all the way around.
Listening to the wind
as it makes its whispering sound.
Hours have now passed,
it is time to climb back down.
Leaving this glorious and peaceful place,
on my face there was a frown.
Oh mountain, in which I found peace,
and relaxed upon your ground.
I will soon be back to listen to the winds whisper,
and the trees howling sound.
Written by E. Wayne Searles on 21 July 2012.
Copyright ©
waynster
... [
2012-07-21 15:44:02] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Heavenly Place
(User Rating: 1 ) by Archie on
Sunday, 22nd July 2012 @ 12:51:41 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This Comment will be by two people since I'm hanging with my friend today. We promise to not be too critical. The first part of the comment will be by me: (1) I thought this was a good poem in the sense that you took me on a journey, but on this journey there were stanzas that repeated the same thought and the rhythm was off (not the same beat structure in each stanza).
(2) I really enjoyed the reading your poem, I felt like you wrote it in a way that you wanted me to feel like I was there with you. A suggestion I have for you would be to carry your themes to completion, and finish the thoughts that you start. |
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Re: A Heavenly Place
(User Rating: 1 ) by desire on
Sunday, 29th July 2012 @ 10:34:29 PM AEST (User
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Well that was pretty deep.
Its always great when someone has an
Experience that brings the closer yo God and
Peace. Good for you |
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