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Dead Girl
Contributed by
kailas
on
Saturday, 30th June 2012 @ 12:42:29 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
She takes a breath
without air
looking around
with a closed eye stare.
A lifeless face
A silent sound
An ending taste
of the world around.
The rich earth her bed
And a stone for a pillow
where she will forever
lay her head.
Copyright ©
kailas
... [
2012-06-30 12:42:29] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dead Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by TCK on
Monday, 2nd July 2012 @ 06:44:39 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow, I really liked your rhye scheme. This poem was short, maybe a bit too short, but hey, it communicated the mood and feeling you wanted, so I guess that's what matters. Well done and keep writing. You did a good job handling a very serious subject, and I don't know if you were writing from personal emotion or were simply writing a description, but it was good. |
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Re: Dead Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by NightMareShoGun on
Monday, 15th October 2012 @ 01:38:17 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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nice done on the rhyme scheme |
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