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The Words that Used to Come

Contributed by TCK on Sunday, 17th June 2012 @ 12:38:08 AM in AEST
Topic: anguished



I don't think I have the words to say
But I'll try to say them anyway
And God please help me cause I don't think I can move
I'm calling out so please shake me from this mood

No little kid has ever said he wants to be like me
And in a way I'm glad, cause he doesn't deserve to be
To be stuck in this cage of insecurity
To forget what it means to really breathe

Sometimes I wonder why I have so much trouble fitting in
I want to be normal; to be just like my friends
But then I don't, I want to be a person called myself
I want to change the world but do it without standing out

Sometimes I'm afraid cause it feels like this is wrong
These thoughts in my head; I wouldn't have them if I were strong
But what can I do when I make a joke that no one hears
But someone else says it and what greets them is laughter and cheers

Sometimes I think I've found the person who I really am
But it's just poetry written out in the sand
The waves roll in and wash myself away
And my identity is gone before it aged a day

I'm at a party but I'm sitting all alone
I've been here often but I still can't feel at home
Tell myself I'm being stupid; there's no reason to feel this way
But my heart won't listen to the words my brain is trying to say

There's a God who loves me and I really love him too
But sometimes I'm ungrateful; I want something else, something that's new.
A new life- to be the person everyone loves.
To be the eagle- I'm discontent with being the dove

And now the words are becoming so insincere
I'm trying to scream, but nothing is coming out clear
This always happens; so I think I'm just about done
I tried to feel but I ended up only feeling numb

I'm trying to write but the words won't come anymore
It's like they're there, but I've lost the key that used to open that door
When I started this I had no clue what words to say
But I decided I'd try to say them anyway

Now I know exactly what I want to communicate
But when the thoughts came in it was already too late
I've lost the ability of expression
At least that was one good thing about depression

But though I don't think I have the words I want to say
I might just try to say them anyway
God's the one who can make things get better
But even if he doesn't, doubt him I will never

I'll trust his faithfulness and I'll trust his grace
I'll trust him to help me finish this race
I don't have to win- just have to cross the finish line
Although at points I feel like I'm running out of time

So God, I'm going to sleep tonight-
Turn off this laptop, I've already turned out the light
But I want you to know that you're the love of my life
And even if it hurts I know you're always right




Copyright © TCK ... [ 2012-06-17 00:38:08]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: The Words that Used to Come (User Rating: 1 )
by soulsongs on Sunday, 1st July 2012 @ 07:07:23 PM AEST
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TCK - You are struggling to believe in yourself but your words show that you are trying - don't ever give up - you keep pushing until you reach your perfect you - look deep, deep within - He is there... along with your soul waiting for you.


Re: The Words that Used to Come (User Rating: 1 )
by shereal_14 on Tuesday, 7th August 2012 @ 10:07:44 PM AEST
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Trust me, you are a long way off from losing how to express yourself...I believe that you have expressed yourself in this one poem so well that I feel like I actually know you, and I have only read just one of your poems...things will get better, just keep your faith hon...God bless you.




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