|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Lovers In the Park (wordsworth daffodil pattern)
Contributed by
Byrdie
on
Sunday, 8th April 2012 @ 01:37:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
|
Lovers in the Park
I saw two lovers on a bench
across a pond in Hagen’s park
who unaware that hungry ducks
had left the water, stole their lunch
while they sat close in fond embrace
in locked lip kiss, their hair in face.
Their eyes stayed closed in chemistry,
endorphins crowded their delight,
as probing tongues pursued their trails
where teens first taste adults first act.
At last they stood, their bodies taught
and yielded joy lest they be caught.
Their arms entwined, they walked away
with sparkling eyes from new delight;
they gave this bard a flash back day
of long ago when love was young:
I watched the water lap the shore
and kiss the grass it’d kissed before:
As I walked home from walkers trail
I reminisced about a moon
upon the waters of a lake
where I first kissed a boy I loved;
and then I knew the lovers fate
for they had found their life-long mate.
Copyright ©
Byrdie
... [
2012-04-08 13:37:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Lovers In the Park (wordsworth daffodil pattern)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 8th April 2012 @ 02:32:05 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really like this but but...what were you doing watching them? :p
 to YPDC.
Keep up the good work!
Tim |
|
|
Re: Lovers In the Park (wordsworth daffodil pattern)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Voice of the Silent on
Sunday, 8th April 2012 @ 03:05:39 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I agree with Tim what were you doing watching them? O.o kidding
Welcome to the site btw, this is a very nice poem
I enjoyed the read it put me in a better mood
Again great write
Hope to read more soon
-Voice |
|
|
Re: Lovers In the Park (wordsworth daffodil pattern)
(User Rating: 1 )
by HaroldWilson on
Saturday, 14th April 2012 @ 03:10:34 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
A good poem. I've read a couple of your other ones and you've definitely got something. There were a few grammatical blips and areas of confusion, which I've tried to clear up with my revised version here:
'I saw two lovers on a bench
across the pond in Hagen’s park
who- unaware that hungry ducks
had left the water- had their lunch
stolen, as they sat in fond embrace-
a lip-locked kiss, hair in their faces.
Their eyes stayed closed in chemistry,
endorphins crowded their delight
as probing tongues pursued their trails
where teens first taste, adults first act.
At last they stood- their bodies taught-
and yielded joy lest they be caught.
Their arms entwined, they walked away
with sparkling eyes from new delight,
they gave this bard a flash-back day
of long ago when love was young;
I watched the water lap the shore
and kiss the grass it’d kissed before,
as I walked home from walkers trail
I reminisced about a moon
upon the waters of a lake
where I first kissed a boy I loved;
and then I knew the lovers fate-
for both had found their life-long mate.'
|
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
