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Size Don't Matter
Contributed by
AznDemon300
on
Saturday, 7th April 2012 @ 07:45:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
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You may be better than me physically,
but I'm better than your mentally.
You maybe bigger and stronger than me,
but I got more pride and heart inside me.
In the ring, you might be thirsty like a desert,
but don't quit, just give it all your effort.
Let me tell you, size don't matter.
All you have to do is keep on climbing up that ladder.
In life, we humans will fall down,
but it's important to not just sit around.
It's your choice to get back up.
Don't let people think your a scrub.
It don't matter if you trounce.
All that matters is that your gave it your all, and that's what counts.
Copyright ©
AznDemon300
... [
2012-04-07 19:45:30] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Size Don't Matter
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Saturday, 7th April 2012 @ 11:38:41 PM AEST (User
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Welcome to YPDC.
Great writing..
blessings,
emy |
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Re: Size Don't Matter
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 8th April 2012 @ 02:15:52 PM AEST (User
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I see so many say that spelling grammar don't really matter, that it's poetry and just write from your heart, etc etc. I agree so much with the writing from the heart. Say what you feel but if you're asking for on how to improve, then I'll answer.
First, I by far am not expert. Meters, rhyme schemes, don't know much about them nor do I care. Do you think e.e. c.ummings cared. Argh! lol but I still firmly believe if someone cares about their own poetry so much, they care about their own heart and feelings so much, to use bad grammar and spelling, then part of that caring seems to be a hypocrisy to me. Write a love poem and show her/him you really care so that the reader doesn't have to stumble while they're reading. (not an example of your topic...just an example)
So, with that (remember you made the request), I pretty much got it figured out as to what you're trying to say...but spelling!!! Grammar. One of the simple things would be to request spell check from mods, although that doesn't always work because they may not know exactly what you're trying to say.
For example, though, this line:
but I'm better than your mentally.
Maybe that's exactly what you want to say. Okay then...I should move on but I can't because it doesn't seem structured or worded correctly.
Seems more like you may have wanted it to read:
but I'm better than you mentally.
Or perhaps:
but I'm better than your mentality.
But my guess is the latter since I saw this:
All that matters is that your gave it your all, and that's what counts.
Seems better to me if it read
All that matters is that you gave it your all, and that's what counts.
Or how about this?
Don't let people think your a scrub.
Your instead of the proper contraction of you are which is you're.
Your message is a good one. I like that. I am simply saying good spelling and grammar go a long way. It makes good poetry great poetry...just my opinion though. Maybe I don't know *****.
Oh, and another one of my not so humble opinions, people asking for comments need to leave them on other member's work. It goes both ways. 3 poems, one comment left. NOT!
to YPDC.
Tim
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