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Labyrinth
Contributed by
shallow
on
Monday, 5th March 2012 @ 12:22:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
A dead child's grave,
A young whore breeds,
A blank tombstone mirrors within,
A satanic thirst feeds;
Cemetery winds of decadence,
Ravage the deafened memories,
The poisoned veins of innocence,
Charms of a disgraced disease;
A dead boy bleeds,
A blood hound grieves;
Them ruby eyes pierce skin,
A hollowed man with hallowed sights,
An imagination stirs,
a dream rests within,
An angel's song from a bible black poet,
the uncivil serpents of sin
As too much blood has flown from the wrists
of the children shamed of those they chose to kiss
And too many breaths have been lost in the mist
of the gods shamed of those they chose to bless
A dead man sleeps
An iron bullet sings
An open wound fills the empty heart
a carnival of carnal cravings
End of a journey
every destination lost
End of a life
a warm heart beating to crimson frost
fake smiles judge the fear within
evrey end is a grudge of a new beginning
Lay down my child,lay down singing
Copyright ©
shallow
... [
2012-03-05 12:22:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Labyrinth
(User Rating: 1 )
by deusdeira on
Monday, 5th March 2012 @ 01:19:14 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Better than most I would say. Great use of vocab, flows fairly well, very metaphorical with a sense of mystery while not being not cliche, and drives the point home.
A beautiful piece of writing in my humble opinion. :p |
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Re: Labyrinth
(User Rating: 1 )
by deusdeira on
Monday, 5th March 2012 @ 01:19:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| not being cliche* :p |
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Re: Labyrinth
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShaeBay on
Wednesday, 11th April 2012 @ 10:01:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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The vocabulary really sets the mood. The flow is very easy o read and follow. GReat piece :) Hope to see more from you in the future.
Shae |
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