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Panic breeds so easily.
Contributed by
PurpleDragon
on
Friday, 17th February 2012 @ 01:34:25 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
You shout. You raise your voice.
You're angry because I'm not me.
You're angry because I don't cope.
I'm scared. Constantly hiding inside my own terror.
You shout, you're angry.
I sink into my seat. Silently.
Trying not to draw attention,
To the fact that you bother me.
I start to shake, uncontrolably.
Pain comes next, my heart begins to pound
And the pain is unbearable, this pain in my chest.
I clutch and I gasp.
Struggling to breathe.
Yet still you're standing over me, with that echoing voice.
I want to say "Please, Stop."
But no sound escapes my lips.
Just a gasp, like a fish out of water.
Put me back. Let me swim again.
My veins are fit to burst now.
Clinging to consciousness.
My hands and feet are tingling,
As I struggle to breathe.
My body is shutting down now,
it has happened before,
I collapsed in my bathroom,
And woke up on the floor.
My world is caving in
I'm watching from afar
I know the signs by now
As I struggle to breathe.
"The next step is collapse" I tell myself.
"The next step is relief"
"That'll show him, that'll make him see
What exactly he does to me!"
But my relief doesn't come
And you still don't see.
I'm not normally this quiet... why can't you see?!
I don't argue back, I don't even acknowledge your words
Why can't you see what youre doing to me!!
You leave.
Open the door and a flash of cold air hits my face,
Making me gasp more.
I get to my knees,
Still clutching, still gasping.
I'm Praying for relief
But it just doesn't come.
I think I'm going to die now.
"Maybe I AM having a heart attack?
"Maybe this isn't the panic as it was before!"
"Maybe I won't just wake up on the floor."
Panic breeds so easily.
Your mind begins to rush.
Everything is a blur,
The pain, oh the pain it hurts so much!
It always feels like time is slower.
I pray for you to come back.
I don't want to die here, alone.
I need help! Please come back!
Hyperventilation, through gritted teeth,
My head between my knees.
"what a way to die", I tell myself.
"what a way to go, I didn't even tell you all the things you ought to know!"
I wake up in a daze.
Menatlly exhausted,
Physically drained.
My eyes are blurry and sticky from tears.
My mouth is dry, I've hurt my head.
Ouch! it hits me, I must've hit my head.
I feel thankful to breathe again.
I breathe deeply and heavily,
drinking it in.
Filling my lungs until they almost burst,
Not wanting to let it escape.
"Panic breeds so easily", I say to myself
"You weren't dying you silly girl!"
Fear feeds on fear and grows so feverously,
"Just try to remember that, next time he shouts.
Next time he's angry and you begin to shake."
Control is the key. Panic breeds so furiously.
Copyright ©
PurpleDragon
... [
2012-02-17 01:34:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Panic breeds so easily.
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 17th February 2012 @ 02:15:31 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Welcome to YPDC.
Great write as I use have panic attacks, from hell.
Mine weren't as dramatic as yours but the feelings are real.
Blessings, relief,
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