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Dodging a Bullet
Contributed by
Tracy
on
Wednesday, 18th January 2012 @ 08:05:49 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Ghost from the past,
do you know you are dead?
You are not to be walking
where my angels tread.
Stop your cadence and think,
before you go any further…
don’t you remember
the pain of love’s murder?
The way you felt then
was not so rose-colored.
The love that I needed
was sometimes from others.
Are you really that sure
you ought to be haunting
the graveyard of love
you confess to be wanting?
No crime was committed
(although it was then).
Are you guilty and doomed
to repeat it again?
Are you certain you want
a conviction for life?
It’s too harsh a punishment
to have me for a wife.
Is it manslaughter
or first degree murder
to love a woman so much
you can’t help but hurt her?
Copyright ©
Tracy
... [
2012-01-18 08:05:49] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dodging a Bullet
(User Rating: 1 ) by spud on
Thursday, 19th January 2012 @ 06:46:41 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hi,
Can't be as bad as that, surely?
But then I guess there are those who would
compare it to that.
Nice piece of verse. Well said.
Tommy
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Re: Dodging a Bullet
(User Rating: 1 ) by Robert_Edgar_Burns on
Tuesday, 24th January 2012 @ 10:06:38 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Eloquently put together and heart
grabbing write of the pain, and longing
of and for love itself. Any man who has
broken your heart should be pistol whipped.
Smiles, Rob |
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Re: Dodging a Bullet
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Saturday, 28th January 2012 @ 11:59:18 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hi Tracy. Okay, I read your note on your home page where you wrote: Please leave only legitimate, constructive feedback I am not exactly sure what you mean by "legitimate" and I am not sure you really need "constructive feedback" as your poetry rocks. You address solid subjects and you've really got a great (as I like to say) flow thing goin' on . With that said, I am fairly sure this is indeed a legitimate comment...just not sure what critique I need to give you or am even qualified to give. If I saw any misspelings I may comment on that but there are none that I noticed. Again, you rock and keep up the good work.
Now, this poem, as do many, strikes something in me, especially with that last line:
Is it manslaughter
or first degree murder
to love a woman so much
you can’t help but hurt her?
Guess what I'm thinking is I wonder if I have ever been guilty of that. Loving a woman so much I drove her away??? Not sure, it just struck a note with me and made me ponder that thought process. I admit, I'm guilty. Hurting someone is never my intention or even intentional but I do some fairly stupid things.
Really liking the metaphors and analogies with this one.
Thanks,
Tim
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