|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
DEPARTURE
Contributed by
maverick47
on
Wednesday, 28th December 2011 @ 08:32:29 PM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
|
A final breath
declares you a corpse.
A shell left to the
indignities of undertaking.
Drained of fluids
a Chevy in a minute lube,
a morticians' Ken or Barbie doll
to dress, comb and paint then
boxed amid a sea of fauna.
Three days and nights on
a carpeted showroom floor,
amongst visitors with
prayers and comments on
the nature of serenity.
Guilt relieved,anxiety exhausted
so ends visitation.
Capsule sealed, a limo ride
to church, a momentary stop before
the deep six lawn and garden
Copyright ©
maverick47
... [
2011-12-28 20:32:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: DEPARTURE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniel_L_Bamberg on
Thursday, 29th December 2011 @ 10:40:11 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow! It is ashamed this one has so few reads and only now a single comment, as I type.
I am not a fan of using current materials in poetry because I think all poetry should be timeless (going forward and in reverse) even if it is meant to encapsulate a certain moment in time. So the use of Ken and Barbie and Chevy would've been typically annoying to me, because 200 years ago there were no such things, and 200 years from now there likely will be no such things.
However when considering this is a modern piece and separating myself from my personal taste I found this work to be promptly valuable and all together memorable. Unlike most poems today your work builds towards a conclusion rather than opening on a high and closing out into oblivion. I will be looking for more of your work. Excellent piece.
BRAVO!
DLB |
|
|
Re: DEPARTURE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Robert_Edgar_Burns on
Thursday, 29th December 2011 @ 04:28:06 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Indeed, when our shells drop and our spirits soar,
a funeral is merely for the living to soothe their
own fears at their own mortality! But because of
my Faith, I can say I'll be "Absent from the body,
and present with the Lord! So weep not for me!
Rather, get yourself ready for our blessed reunion in the sky!
Blessings,
Robert Edgar Burns (Rob) |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
