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I Wish I Was Gone

Contributed by dvtpdw on Monday, 26th December 2011 @ 02:39:10 PM in AEST
Topic: anguished



The years go by, memories rush through my mind
So many thoughts, feelings, pictures, sounds
They flash by so fast, seconds continue to rewind
I try to catch a fleeting bit, some happiness to be found

I shift through the piles of my life heaped on the floor
Gonna separate this mess into good time and bad
The images leave my head, the piles flow out the door
The mound of bad memories so huge, making me sad

When I was born, I'm sure God meant a life well spent
All newborns are innocent, pure, love their only goal
I grew up, human nature took over, on life went
Days one after another, time finally took it's toll

As I stand here today, I'm feeling like a failure
I wish that I was no longer here, I wish I was dead
I tried to do everything right, give us all a bright future
I can't get these horrible words out of my head

I was there for everyone, tried not to let anyone down
I played by the rules, got them what was needed
To hear my kids tell it, I was never around
The lies they like to tell, the hate they have heeded

To know children carried within you with such hope
Threw you to the wind, filled others' ears with hate
Would rather forsake their own child's scope
Not give any thought or concern to the kid's fate

I wish I was dead, gone, it might make the pain stop
I never let my family down, of them I was so proud
If I could find a hole deep enough, into it I would drop
Then they could shout their false stories and lies so loud

I have a husband who loves me, a grandson who is my life
Four other grandchildren whom I adore and love so deeply
I know this should be enough to dull the edge of this knife
Should be enough to close this hole in my heart completely

God, please hear my cries, dry my tears, temper my pain
My son, daughter's choice is apparent, their bed's are made
They have shown that with them I have nothing more to gain
I wish I was dead, but I know God had dulled that blade

Please God, show me the way to put their deeds away
Help me remember the good in my life, love's way clear
Help me find the strength enough to in this world stay
When your Love surrounds me, I 'll know what to hold dear

I see my grandson's smiling face filled with love I'll never lose
I see my husband's strong arms as chases away the tears
I see my grandchildren running to me with love and hugs huge
I see it, God, I see it. I am loved, fade away now my fears.




Copyright © dvtpdw ... [ 2011-12-26 14:39:10]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: I Wish I Was Gone (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 26th December 2011 @ 02:58:30 PM AEST
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Read the title, started readin' the poem with anxiety of possibilities goin' south. Took a leap of uplift in the end that warmed my heart. This was a prayer that our Maker tends to answer 'fore we're through prayin'. Isn't it amazin'? Amazin' Grace, coincidence? Wonderful prayer, poem 'n' promise not be gone.

wabl
KenMoore
cowboy


Re: I Wish I Was Gone (User Rating: 1 )
by lyricalpoet on Monday, 26th December 2011 @ 04:05:58 PM AEST
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amazing a poem


Re: I Wish I Was Gone (User Rating: 1 )
by BritVent on Monday, 26th December 2011 @ 04:35:54 PM AEST
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I sometimes feel this way about the way my life is going. My mom always says look up not down. This poem is amazing. Never look down always look up towards God


Re: I Wish I Was Gone (User Rating: 1 )
by krissy26 on Tuesday, 27th December 2011 @ 02:34:53 PM AEST
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I maybe young but I have felt this way may times over. Sometimes we just need to think within ourselves and understand what is in front of us. Beautiful poem, be strong.




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