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Perception

Contributed by witaishere on Monday, 26th December 2011 @ 04:34:06 AM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems

Parliment, arguments, since children, conditioning, listening, never asking, where is a poets place

or an artist at any moment. I'm zoning, deepness, farness, where my brain is there's blasted

asteroid passing, is this fantasy, paint the truth, to late, they've masked it. Laser marking, automatic checkout, robitic parking,

still hunger & charred limbs in countries we donate to, then harm them. Cancer, relatives departing, cannabis hidden by

marketing, for pharmaceutical ideas to keep us fighting, then dying. War science, weapon making, religion creating reasons,

seasons, salaries, sequence of sweets so secretive elites can treat us, like we're easy to lead and use police to to beat if

we resist or have dreams, love, not queens, but all things, worship noone for no man is a king, but all what's living holds a

unique art or use that should be appreciated.

Copyright © witaishere ... [ 2011-12-26 04:34:06]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Perception (User Rating: 1 )
by Daniel_L_Bamberg on Thursday, 29th December 2011 @ 10:49:26 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

An outstanding modern flow keeping an exhausting pace, which was entirely your point. Brilliantly crafted. However I would prefer when reading your work on here that your lines be broken a little more clearly. Your display didn't affect the rhythm but typically at first glance without reading this I would've ignored it. It's a jumbled mess in your presentation. However that doesn't take away that this is a very impressive piece regardless of the online presentation. I would love to hear this spoken aloud it is a dynamic work of perfect passion and frustration. Hold on to both, they move hearts and challenge minds.

BRAVO!

DLB

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