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Asthma
Contributed by
iodinelove
on
Thursday, 22nd December 2011 @ 11:32:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
The canister is empty
Skitters across the street
Bounces into a group of pebbles
Flips up
Lands on the curb
Teeters at its edge
Worn down with age
Recovers itself
Continues on
Hits the streetlight
Reflection spins
Disappears into the grass
Rustling shadows
The rustling shadows fade
The sound of the canister
Tinkering down a hill
Then silence
The echo of a noise
Then silence
The sensation of a breath
Cold winter air
Copyright ©
iodinelove
... [
2011-12-22 23:32:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Asthma
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 23rd December 2011 @ 12:44:46 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
And the subplot reads
Screams a pebble in the crowd
Neighbors gather senses
Over hearing conversations
"Who was that masked man?"
"What the ****?"
Time for dinner
Mingle
Slowly leave
Glances notice you
Curves, surprises....
Ah
Stephanie!!!!! |
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Re: Asthma
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 24th December 2011 @ 10:05:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Don't know why this shows zero comments as I actually did comment....in other words, I really liked it. That's why I noticed it showed zero because I came back to read it eighth again. |
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Re: Asthma
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 28th December 2011 @ 02:05:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Good work, ABe.
Smiles, blessings,
emy |
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Re: Asthma
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniel_L_Bamberg on
Thursday, 29th December 2011 @ 01:33:14 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
An enjoyable read.
Well Done!
DLB |
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