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Anatomy
Contributed by
alolam
on
Tuesday, 22nd November 2011 @ 08:54:28 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I. Hands
Who am I to say that our hands must never part?
Your fingers trapped in my cage of flesh,
feel weak enough to crunch within my palm.
A power of constraint I have over you,
Yet is it wrong to hold you in this prison?
II. Legs
A blissful calamity, entaglement of lovers' legs.
Toes to toes, a warmth rises through my veins,
When I feel the gentle graze of lovers' lanes.
III. Body
Together, our forms, like souls, become one.
Inside a lonely cavern we may be,
When skies turn dark and wind bites cold.
Yet in this dark cavern, wrapped well within your arms,
Soft touches of your skin bring warmth,
And your hair reminiscent of sun;
All trouble is forgotten, when my form is in your grasp.
IV. Eyes
My eyes, deep pools of blue appear.
Your eyes, dark and sincere.
Still, these may more reflect your love,
Since you crave my searching stare.
V. Lips
What is red?
Anger?
Embarresment?
Blood or fire?
I see not this harsh tone on your lips.
I see pale fragility, crisp and fresh as first snow,
longing for the footsteps of my mouth to impressure
And melt your cold, smooth coating,
And savour your desire.
Copyright ©
alolam
... [
2011-11-22 08:54:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Anatomy
(User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on
Tuesday, 22nd November 2011 @ 09:12:32 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I think this has a lot of potential, but something about it falls short. If I were you I would go back and examine it. Maybe find a simpler way.
Just my opinion of course. Overall it's good, but it could be better.
Keep writing. |
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Re: Anatomy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Leena on
Wednesday, 23rd November 2011 @ 06:31:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Good Poem! I love the stanzas |
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