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APART -- by ammar and FlintHunter
Contributed by
FlintHunter
on
Friday, 21st October 2011 @ 10:22:44 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
APART
A war of violent words --
Sharp conflicting egos --
Sinister savage lies --
Past sentiments unheard --
As affection dies --
Persist agony -- woes.
Tears become sighs
Here -- in the throes
Of living hurt.
Grey the clouded skies
Shadowing the earth.
Nothing even grows...
Last red rose
Graced our eyes
Once. Now inert
We are -- frozen...
As -- affection -- dies...
As -- split -- apart...
Heart... broken.
_______________________________
--Ammar and Flint Hunter (2011)
Copyright ©
FlintHunter
... [
2011-10-21 10:22:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: APART -- by ammar and FlintHunter
(User Rating: 1 )
by ming on
Tuesday, 25th October 2011 @ 08:37:35 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Nice try. Sounds almost too thought out, and I mean no harm, and its only my opinion and I am noone. :) To me the art should flow out a sacred part. Too much 'should we' leads to sounding contrived to my ear. But as you all no...I am weird.
ming |
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Re: APART -- by ammar and FlintHunter
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 7th November 2011 @ 08:07:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| don't pay attention to ' ming '!! they have no right to say that because they're not an expert!! this is an excellent poem well written!! this is so true. when i'm sad - this is exactly how i see things, and feel. you did an excellent job with this. it has feeling. it's touching. |
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