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Cast Away
Contributed by
Spike
on
Monday, 17th October 2011 @ 07:58:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
the shoreline drifts into the sea
with crashing waves, vexing me,
the broken shells of reality
too much sand to count or see
I walk the rills and foaming swell,
unsure if Heaven or Hell
will make me pay or keep me well
here inside my hollow shell
dawn rises into day
dreaming of another way,
just to many words to say
for this ragged castaway.
Copyright ©
Spike
... [
2011-10-17 19:58:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cast Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by elle on
Wednesday, 19th October 2011 @ 05:12:40 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Hi spike
I don't want to make light of anguished poetry but having one's own personal "Wilson" can never hurt. . .
or perhaps some one else with an open heart & attentive ear. Lovely bit of poetry here, mate.
elle :) |
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Re: Cast Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by FlintHunter on
Friday, 21st October 2011 @ 04:51:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Dear Spike,
There is so much beauty in this poem that I can't nearly tell it. The rich imagery. The introspective feelings that come with the tide. The clear reference to classical marine poetry. The wonderful way you can use 4 rhymes in a row -- like waves -- and the result is not forced or shallow. The way you use the different forms of: castaway and cast away... and so much more. A dynamic -- and -- sensitive -- and -- special -- poem. A shining and splendid well-inhabited shell.
--FlintHunter |
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Re: Cast Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 5th December 2011 @ 01:59:36 PM AEST
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Yer ability to capture an entire story, vision with wonder, as you did in this one, in three verses with the novelty of curiosity is one of yer gifts, Spike.
'n' you think I'm good. Huh.
wabl
Ken |
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