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the living

Contributed by fortunesdancer on Sunday, 16th October 2011 @ 03:00:37 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

he heard the lock of gun
and held it proud
filtered dreary sun

it snapped rang like
a bell to heaven
or to hell
became a sullen knell
loaded locked in seven

confused glazed and dazed
light flashed and smoke hazed
to the roar and flare of an underpass
came lines of blood like bass
in bluegrass

Copyright © fortunesdancer ... [ 2011-10-16 15:00:37]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: the living (User Rating: 1 )
by FlintHunter on Monday, 17th October 2011 @ 09:46:17 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

'the living' is a vivid poem. It strikes like a bullet. Very very dynamic -- inscrutable in a way. Scary too. Very original -- its urgent-hesitant rhythm fits the content. A well-written poem -- so much so that it is difficult to describe since the content is so relentless. This is a hard song. Bleak. Final.

--FlintHunter

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