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Visions
Contributed by
Waqasrab
on
Friday, 14th October 2011 @ 04:54:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
NaturePoetry
|
The sun is shining on a morning new
And I start thinking of what to do...
Shall I go for a walk on a sandy beach?
And invigorate my soul with the scenic view...
Shall I take a stroll through majestic vales?
Or cast an eye at pearly skies...
Watching the birds dance and play
In all their easy-going ways....
Shall I take a stroll through forests green
Hearing the emerald symphony
Of whistling wind through the singing leaves
While I rest with hands crossed above my knees
Shall I ascend the mountains tallest of tall
And watch the world bathed in clouds
See the horizon majestic and fair
And wonder what is happening there.
And in such thoughts the day is passed
The time to do is gone at last
But the visions of splendor still remain
Of the beauty there is outside and within
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Copyright ©
Waqasrab
... [
2011-10-14 16:54:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Visions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Robert_Edgar_Burns on
Friday, 14th October 2011 @ 05:45:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Such beautiful mind pictures that invade
my thoughts and allow me to see clearly
those very places you describe!
Blessings,
Robert Edgar Burns
(Rob) |
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Re: Visions
(User Rating: 1 )
by xanvier on
Friday, 14th October 2011 @ 11:13:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i like the way it catches my imagination of thinking
but there's no rhyming scheme, and it does not have syllable pattern and words are redundant, it keeps the word or words on repeat, you need to improve on syllable pattern and rhyming to make a good poetry and make the words not redundant... nice and beautiful poetry... |
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Re: Visions
(User Rating: 1 )
by xanvier on
Friday, 14th October 2011 @ 11:20:03 PM AEST
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| you need to make it flow the words in order for the reader to get a possible and more powerful imagination... |
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