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Life In The Mirror

Contributed by aliopterix on Saturday, 24th September 2011 @ 10:42:39 PM in AEST
Topic: StoryPoetry

Life In The Mirror

Looking in the mirror I closed my eyes, opened them and stared.
I failed to recognize the person who returned my gaze.
Eighteen months ago I had seen a clean-shaven and tidy reflection.
Now an unkempt, gaunt visage appeared with sunken, lifeless eyes.

It had all happened so fast I could barely keep up with the pace.
Depression is insidious in its stealth and speed of attack.
Redundant and fifty, the prospect of easy re-employment was remote.
The ignominy of claiming benefits and traversing the system loomed.

There is nothing more humiliating than begging for help,
But to retain an existence in a flat and not be put out on the streets
Forced the inevitability of trudging to the Council offices.
I felt like a stain on the community armed with a begging bowl.

Benefit office followed swiftly and hopelessness intensified.
Endless questions, invasive, embarrassing reinforced the emotion.
There is a belief that you are a spare cog in the machinery.
The distaste of your position begins the rapid plunge downward.

Within weeks the inadequacy of unemployment degenerated.
It led to lethargy, mindless boredom in a lifeless world of drudgery.
Friends and acquaintances fell away and the calls dried up.
Before long I remained in my flat which had become my whole universe.

Low self-esteem led to inactivity, agoraphobia and submission to fate.
Without knowing it depression had fully taken hold and hooked me completely.
It fuelled my self-loathing and forced me down the other path of Hell:
The treacherous descent into seeking solace from a brightly coloured bottle.

It took a year to realise where I had arrived but thank God I did.
I sought the proper help which was offered because it really does exist if you want it.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Taking mine I underwent therapy and sought to haul myself up from the gutter.

So now I stare at the dishevelled, hairy reflection in the mirror.
I may be damaged and fragile but imbued with a new resolve.
Acceptance is power and to empower oneself is the path to redemption.
For the first time in a long time I smiled as I reached for my shaver.

Copyright © aliopterix ... [ 2011-09-24 22:42:39]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Life In The Mirror (User Rating: 1 )
by DarkWolf on Monday, 26th September 2011 @ 10:37:25 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

very well writen and it flows nicely

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