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The Corner Stoned
Contributed by
LifesEyes
on
Sunday, 28th August 2011 @ 01:42:58 AM in AEST
Topic:
insomniac
|
Her eyes are heavy, full of regret.
Her skin is tight, some say it glows of orange in the florescent light.
Lipstick gone wild, yet so sloppy for a mild kind of pink.
Long countless days and tiresome nights, street corner dreams and mindless fights.
No need to mention she drinks drinks drinks, drinks the away the pain and hopes to smoke the stress.
Life's joyous colors really never did do her justice.
Its all done and gone now, another name in the books.
She finds another shot of pride in a broken glassed stare.
Just sold more of her lovin, while still managing to inject herself with care.
Copyright ©
LifesEyes
... [
2011-08-28 01:42:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Corner Stoned
(User Rating: 1 )
by LifesEyes on
Sunday, 28th August 2011 @ 01:51:58 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I forgot to mention, I don't mind at all if you are harsh and detailed in the comments. I just expect honesty for the most part. This is 1 of my first poems and wrote it with heart. Like I said be as critical as you would like but be honest. I learn from criticism. I hope to 1 day be the best writer I can be and you all can help me. Thank You and enjoy... |
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Re: The Corner Stoned
(User Rating: 1 )
by poeticjestix on
Monday, 29th August 2011 @ 12:35:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I like the description of make-up almost as a description of character, or uniform. Not sure whether to feel sympathy for her plight or not- not sure if that is intentional on your part. One or two grammatical errors, but I've just been re-glazed, so I'll leave it at that.
A good start.
Just out of interest, how do you know she is injecting? Would be interesting to have your observations on that. |
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