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CHAOTIC WORLD
Contributed by
angelabella
on
Saturday, 20th August 2011 @ 07:41:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Hear the cries of the tormented souls
Of Children' bloated stomach growl
Humanity, have we forgotten our role?
Lessen the burden the selfishness bore
Fight Hunger 'til the depths of Earth's core.
Tears of Families drop to the ground
As Hundreds of caskets arrived to town
Knowing that they'll never see
Of Fathers and Brothers they love thee
Can't we hear the innocent's cry?
Asking for Justice, asking why
War must be stop or more people will die.
Corruption here, Corruption there
Do you believe what leaders swear?
Don't you care or would you dare?
Leaders, People..Wake up!
We need someone to lead
Not someone's who's full of greed
Honesty is what we need but Corruption is what we did.
Hunger, War, and Corruption...
Causes our dreadful situation
Why won't we follow God's instructions
So it won't lead to our Death and Total destruction.
Oh, look at this Chaotic World
Will we wait for someone
for us to told
That all it takes for the world to heal
Is for all our worldly pleasures
and desires to be sealed.
Copyright ©
angelabella
... [
2011-08-20 19:41:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: CHAOTIC WORLD
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zeberdee on
Saturday, 20th August 2011 @ 08:19:17 PM AEST
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I always love poems about society, politics and the state of the world.
I liked reading this, it was much in the same tone as the song "World of Confusion".
You painted some broad strokes against society, but your only solution or advice was some ambiguous unfulfilling clichés, including the worst naive cliché of all: the religious cliché. More than that your critique was very abstract and not guided at anyone or anything in particular(I would have loved to see some finger pointing), surely someone or something is to blame for all these terrible things you point out? After reading your poem, I wasn't able to identify were the problem lies.
I also want to point specifically at a typo on line 2 where you use the word 'bloated' this word means "Full" or in this context: "Well fed", I am assume that since the topic you were dealing with was Hunger, you wanted the exact opposite meaning of this.
2.5 out of 5. |
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Re: CHAOTIC WORLD
(User Rating: 1 )
by poeticjestix on
Sunday, 21st August 2011 @ 04:50:28 AM AEST
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| Sorry Zeberdee. Severe malnutrition can cause bloating, especially in young children. I'm surprised you don't know that. |
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Re: CHAOTIC WORLD
(User Rating: 1 )
by poeticjestix on
Sunday, 21st August 2011 @ 05:00:10 AM AEST
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As for following god's instruction. Would that be " go forth and multiply?"? If so, I believe the instruction has been followed.
Sorry, but I am with zeberdee. Blind following of faith is a severe lack of imagination in my eyes. Yes, Have faith, but accept that GOD DOES NOT MEDDLE WITH THE AFFAIRS ON EARTH. That little bit is up to us. If GOd deliberately causes famine etc because we don't follow his ways then I'd like to know why the almighty doesn't show himself and tell us a bit more plainly rather than deliberately killing innocent children in africa, because i will still be a naughty boy wether I see kids starving on T.V. or not.
How about this, why don't we all try to do something nice for someone else every single day and maybe things will get better? rather than getting an ancient instruction manual out and scoring against each other for sins.
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Re: CHAOTIC WORLD
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zeberdee on
Sunday, 21st August 2011 @ 01:37:26 PM AEST
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@Poeticjestic
Wrong.
dictionary.com's definition says:
- Bloated: excessively fat; obese.
macmillian dictionary's definition says:
- Bloated: having an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach after eating or drinking too much. |
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Re: CHAOTIC WORLD
(User Rating: 1 )
by marsh on
Monday, 5th September 2011 @ 04:07:05 AM AEST
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Is it a universal ailment-greedy untrustworthy but convincing leaders?
MARSH |
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