|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Enervated Heart
Contributed by
slayer_015
on
Saturday, 23rd July 2011 @ 02:42:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Life is such a mystery
Where silent memories summon sorrowful solitude
Staring blankly into the vast abyss of helplessness
While falling unwillingly into the bleak darkness
Feverishly holding on to the first rays of the waking dawn.
The morning is coming
As fading stars lay twinkling in the glowering blue
While weary souls search for asinine answers
To melancholy quandries in the sultry heat of day.
The evening lies heavy
Where torrid breezes cook the scorched ground
Burned brown by the heat of the smirking summer
As enervated souls lie sleepless in their unkempt beds.
Copyright ©
slayer_015
... [
2011-07-23 14:42:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Enervated Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on
Saturday, 23rd July 2011 @ 06:47:14 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I like it. The only thing is, is that enervated seems inappropriate when used in conjunction with sleepless. Typically one enervated is going to be without energy, while something that innervates could cause sleeplessness. Innervate becomes even more relevant when a body or organ is the subject, due to its definition being to supply with nerves or stimulate with nervous energy. Even more appropriate with the heart, don't you think?
Not to say that you're wrong for your word choice, it was obviously used in the way of a lack of mental strength, but to me that would signify rest, not restlessness.
As fr the rest I liked the tone and the pace. It was refreshing. Thanks
Always, abraham |
|
|
Re: Enervated Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 19th July 2014 @ 06:38:07 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
really beautifully penned...
hugs n' love nessa |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
