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Tempted The Devil
Contributed by
ElementZero
on
Wednesday, 1st June 2011 @ 04:23:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
drugabuse
|
She's upon my lips.
Like liquid fire.
I can feel her essence climb through to my throat.
Silently.
I hiss.
In relief.
With her dark touch.
Ancient evil, but newer good.
She's bad, so damn bad, babe.
Oh, she's got hips, she's got curves like a bottle.
Her shakes better in my hands than alone.
Her liquid swirls as well.
Her neck is strong, but it's like glass.
Her label reads, "Drink me", and so I drink.
Quietly.
Lonely.
Only alcoholic's drink alone.
But she lets me suck on her.
Taste her.
Drink her.
I am never alone.
She fires my throat up, but she lets me forget the pain.
Forget the pain.
Every headache, every stomach ache, every heartbreak.
Trade it all, for a little peace of mind.
And I don't care how shaken my mind is gonna feel during this.
Get my babe.
Drink her, pour her, devour her.
Tempted the devil, but yet, she gave - threw my sins away.
She makes me forget. But clouds my mind. Now, the devil's tempting me.
Copyright ©
ElementZero
... [
2011-06-01 16:23:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Tempted The Devil
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 1st June 2011 @ 08:26:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very good write. It speaks much in it's sadness.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Tempted The Devil
(User Rating: 1 )
by northernlights on
Wednesday, 1st June 2011 @ 10:58:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Trade it all for a little peace of mind..... strong write showing the struggle and the love hate relationship with the bottle ,love the way you put stomach ache headache and heartbreak all together. No matter what happens to the body, the addiction rules dictating the compulsion to block out the pain. |
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Re: Tempted The Devil
(User Rating: 1 )
by poeticjestix on
Thursday, 2nd June 2011 @ 10:53:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| It takes a lot of bottle to write something like this. Literally. |
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Re: Tempted The Devil
(User Rating: 1 )
by Debris on
Friday, 3rd June 2011 @ 06:00:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I really like this piece, whether it's fictional or not, it reads very well and conveys the message. Well done. |
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Re: Tempted The Devil
(User Rating: 1 )
by UNORTHODOX on
Friday, 3rd June 2011 @ 07:14:51 AM AEST
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This passage speaks for it's self
if it's the only piece you ever write again,
it will stand the test of time
the story telling is that of and old hand,
with an immaculate ability to narrate
this story takes hold of you like a dieing man's
final attempt to grasp the reality of what is happening to him,
if I lived this plot 1000 times I couldn't imagine it more vividly,
it was seductive, witty, and intuitive
a blatently superior write
-UNORTHODOX |
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