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You

Contributed by desireemiote on Thursday, 19th May 2011 @ 10:26:57 PM in AEST
Topic: anguished



You beat me up
But nobody sees the bruises
They are inside...
On my heart
And the ulcers
The reflux
The weight gain
The depression
You didn't start this cycle alone
But you didn't resist continuing it either
I reach out to you
And you reach back...
Until just before I can touch you
Then you jerk your hand away
And leave me sinking in the quicksand
False hurt like a child pouting for and crying for candy
Until you turn your back and laugh
You shouldn't be so confident
As to turn your back
On someone armed with your knives in their back
But you know I care too much
And won't really hurt you like that
So you take advantage
And become your mother
The one you so despise
For everything she is and has become
Dangling the bait
To make me dance
Like the dog
You treat me as
But telling me I'm in the wrong
Making me cry and feel guilty
When you are the one throwing me away
Like month old garbage
After 5 years of marriage
Because you think an 18 year old(with a grudge against me) is worth dating
And the kids?
What am I supposed to tell them?
I will not lie and make this my fault.
And I will not be the one to break it to them
That daddy is more of child than they are
Even though they are both
Younger than our marriage
Good thing your son doesn't take after you
He is giving and kind and smarter too
Tonight he offered me his stuffed animal
And said I could come sleep in his bed
Because I could not hide my tears
Or the hurt in my eyes
Any longer
I just told him I had a bad day
But he knows it's more than today
And I'll be damned if you ever tell me
I was wrong to cry in front of him
Because I didn't but he heard me across the house
And he offered comfort...
I tried to lie and say I just had a runny nose
But he didn't believe me...
If you don't want me to cry in front of them...
Don't be such an *****




Copyright © desireemiote ... [ 2011-05-19 22:26:57]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: You (User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflyperfect on Friday, 20th May 2011 @ 12:31:17 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I feel your pain and wish you well. I can't imagine a moment like this, but hopefully writing helped you some. Thanks for sharing.
*Brenda*


Re: You (User Rating: 1 )
by Banjosandwitch on Friday, 20th May 2011 @ 05:56:54 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
deep sorrow :(




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