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Numb
Contributed by
Cocoxx
on
Monday, 18th April 2011 @ 02:35:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
You can see, but you’re blinded
You can feel, but you’re numb
You can smile, but you’re crying
You can talk, but you say nothing
The rain feels colder than it is
The sun burns your skin
The night seem darker than it is
The day feels longer
The clock stands still
You’re surrounded by people
But still you’re alone
They ask how you’re feeling
You will never tell the truth
Death doesn’t feel scary
But you never take the step
The steel feels cold on your wrist
You never let it cut
You know there is help for this
But you’re too afraid to ask
The loneliness is familiar now
It’s everything you’ve got
Copyright ©
Cocoxx
... [
2011-04-18 14:35:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Numb
(User Rating: 1 )
by DrcGaimer on
Monday, 18th April 2011 @ 02:45:48 PM AEST
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| Dark, yet powerful. In my youth I remember a similar place. Be strong. |
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Re: Numb
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zeberdee on
Monday, 18th April 2011 @ 05:06:27 PM AEST
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I like the recurring theme of contrasts in the beginning, sadly it faded out and became very vague(perhaps even non-existent) after the first 8 lines, after which you began to stray to far away from the theme you presented in the first 8 lines, I certainly don't feel the link between the first 8 lines and rest of the poem, In fact the first 8 lines could be separated from the rest of the work to form its own poem, and that would actually make a pretty good poem.
3 out of 5 |
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Re: Numb
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ambivalence on
Tuesday, 19th April 2011 @ 12:40:54 AM AEST
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I can relate to this one. Don't consider it loneliness, consider it as independence.
It's probably one of the hardest things to deal with, but once comfortable in that solo state, everything will be all right :)
take care
-K.Z. |
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Re: Numb
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Tuesday, 19th April 2011 @ 01:52:11 AM AEST
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I can understand the way you feel
and I
like the way this flows.... |
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Re: Numb
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Tuesday, 19th April 2011 @ 01:52:16 AM AEST
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I can understand the way you feel
and I
like the way this flows.... |
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Re: Numb
(User Rating: 1 )
by deusdeira on
Tuesday, 19th April 2011 @ 03:04:54 AM AEST
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I disagree with zeberdee. This poem is better in its totality. It is conveying an emotion, and with the first 8 lines it would not be complete.
I do however disagree with the idea of death being a solution to lonliness. I think that is just illogical. Death is the end of everything... not just lonliness, as far as we know anyway.
If you are lonely you should work on your social skills, and go find some people to cure the problem, not kill yourself.
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