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Freedoom
Contributed by
dsparkes
on
Wednesday, 30th March 2011 @ 02:15:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
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Dark whispers hear the one who's thoughts are whispered
Of those in battle torn and blistered
Among these men, brothers unite
Fighting since early morning light
Questions are raised on grisly days
Were so many loose there life
But in the same part of town 10 years on
Children skip and sing melodic songs
This nation is free of iron fist rule
People cry, people laugh, people go to school
Simple pleasures denied to a large percentage of the world
All for the glory and power of the twisted and twirled
Unite as one and people will see
This world can be a place we all long to be
Copyright ©
dsparkes
... [
2011-03-30 02:15:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Freedoom
(User Rating: 1 ) by huwbeauty on
Wednesday, 30th March 2011 @ 02:48:51 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very interesting,well written especially for your first poem. |
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Re: Freedoom
(User Rating: 1 ) by UNORTHODOX on
Wednesday, 30th March 2011 @ 12:09:42 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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In this passage are pointed out some hard facts of life freedom does have it's price war does have it's place and oppurtunity and revolution go hand in hand we must unite to reach those who have not the simple freedoms we enjoy well written
-UNORTHODOX |
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Re: Freedoom
(User Rating: 1 ) by dsparkes on
Thursday, 31st March 2011 @ 02:49:17 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Thanks for the feedback.
Hoping for a heap of feedback.
Can you recommend any other sites, that poetry follows can read and post about people stuff.
Cheers
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Re: Freedoom
(User Rating: 1 ) by Banjosandwitch on
Thursday, 31st March 2011 @ 06:45:37 AM AEST (User
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a good first write try different styles till you feel yer this is my voice is my advice |
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