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alas there is no title
Contributed by
chanocia
on
Sunday, 27th March 2011 @ 02:55:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
hbadday
|
Distant mind, Open eyes,
Unsettled tension with a steel-plated coating,
Despite my glass interior ,
I feel,
I KNOW,
I am not one, not two ,not three ,
But millions of particles flung together,
To create this steel-plated, glass ridden shell of a being,
But still i wonder,With a little wordplay ,
I twist my distant mind and open eyes,
To create a distant eyed open-minded shell,
Copyright ©
chanocia
... [
2011-03-27 14:55:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: alas there is no title
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tomboy on
Sunday, 27th March 2011 @ 09:35:00 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I feel this way many times during any given week, too. Thanks for digging this poem out and sharing! |
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Re: alas there is no title
(User Rating: 1 )
by NightOwl61 on
Sunday, 27th March 2011 @ 11:09:29 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I like this piece. It's gritty and point blank. Tells it like it is without fluffing anything up. The last two lines do use distant twice, I'm sure another similar word would have worked without sounded repetitive. Outside of that, great piece. A fun read, and a very vivid write. Well done . |
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