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close, but no cigar
Contributed by
poeticjestix
on
Friday, 25th March 2011 @ 01:12:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
They meet, it's sweet.
Swept off her feet
her champion. Life is complete.
they gravitate, slowly at first
but soon they spin and it begins
that feeling as if two are one
the space between them shrinks 'til gone
and once they touch things are all right
but squeezing. Sticks like araldite.
Where does she stop and he begin?
The pressure grows and no one wins,
til one denies the simple truth.
Misery. It is the proof.
And in his room he sits alone
in torment. No one left to phone.
His friends. The ones he left behind
don't offer enough to unwind.
Perfection chased with too much haste
in his own juices he must baste.
His loyalty, he's sure of right
he replays key moments every night
this longing it goes on and on
until his feelings, they are gone
one day he'll follow the right star
'til then....
Close, but no cigar.
Copyright ©
poeticjestix
... [
2011-03-25 13:12:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: close, but no cigar
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 25th March 2011 @ 01:51:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This poem is great! Great rhyming, flowed with excellence, and a message I can soooooooooooooooooooooooooo relate to.
Awesome work!  
Thanks,
Tim
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Re: close, but no cigar
(User Rating: 1 )
by huwbeauty on
Saturday, 26th March 2011 @ 12:14:58 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I can only echo what Tim has said,love the rhyming and a subject I'm very familiar with.Better luck next time.
Mat. |
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Re: close, but no cigar
(User Rating: 1 )
by StacyLynnG on
Monday, 28th March 2011 @ 10:27:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Second I have read of yours today! SOOO Good! You are truly talented! |
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