|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Under the Same Sky
Contributed by
jazzyfizzle
on
Saturday, 5th March 2011 @ 10:39:53 PM in AEST
Topic:
Nostalgic
|
In a mind cluttered with nonsense,
You cross my mind often-you find a home in my thoughts.
All our memories are like my shadow,
Often left behind but never lost.
Even though it’s easy to lose sight of where we were headed,
Blindsided by the bumps in the road thrown our way.
But since it was so easy to forget the vision we had,
Maybe it means- we would have never made it anyway.
We created people that we weren’t,
Just to settle on the thought that we had been renewed.
And now I see maybe I wasn’t meant to be,
The person I would have become with you.
Now the people we have become sit with tide tongues,
Afraid to spill the thoughts our hand me down hearts would never scream.
Because our hearts never forget what our minds can’t remember,
Our words will forever echo in our dreams.
But quiet our minds and mute our words,
In a world where you never really have to say goodbye.
Because no matter where our maps may have led us,
We’re always under the same electric sky.
Copyright ©
jazzyfizzle
... [
2011-03-05 22:39:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Under the Same Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 5th March 2011 @ 11:05:06 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Great writing. Takes me back a ways.
blessings,
emy |
|
|
Re: Under the Same Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by hacktastic on
Sunday, 6th March 2011 @ 01:05:32 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
For me, your writing had three stand out, awesome parts to it:
1) "All our memories are like my shadow,
Often left behind but never lost."
2) "Afraid to spill the thoughts our hand me down hearts would never scream."
3) "Because no matter where our maps may have led us, We’re always under the same electric sky."
These parts were very strong & visual. I am sorry you had to go through so much pain to get there.
Lastly, I noticed a spelling error. It reads "tide" instead of "tied." But the idea of "tied tongues" like an oceans tide, that could be very interesting...
Nice work! |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
