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Thunder song
Contributed by
shelby
on
Saturday, 5th March 2011 @ 10:24:41 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Rain singing her lullaby
turning the night into crystaline
dewy glitters in the pine
no stars or moon in which to guide.
Something is missing in this hushed eve
A sound mixing with rain streams
lost to me now except in my dreams
the droll of my rolling thunder.
The booming echo's boiling over the hills
crashing round close giving me chills
the energy of the impeding storm
electrify my soul dance to winds shrill.
Its funny how on nights such as these
out of so many things that I miss
the one I seem to miss the most
is the sound of my rolling thunder
( she echo's through my soul)
Copyright ©
shelby
... [
2011-03-05 10:24:41] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Thunder song
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Saturday, 5th March 2011 @ 08:55:09 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Welcome back stranger.
It's so good to have you home.
Great writing friend,
Big huggs,
emy |
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Re: Thunder song
(User Rating: 1 ) by northernlights on
Sunday, 6th March 2011 @ 12:16:15 AM AEST (User
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Beautiful write using the moment at which perfection and completion are felt so utterly to highlight what is missing so integrally. |
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Re: Thunder song
(User Rating: 1 ) by hacktastic on
Sunday, 6th March 2011 @ 01:43:31 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I really, really like what you have done. I did a rewrite to reflect some suggestions. I hope no offense is taken to this, none is meant.
Rain sings her lullaby
turns the night to crystalline
glitters, dewy in the pine
moonless sky, no stars to guide.
Something's missing in this hushed eve
A sound mixed with rain streams
lost to me, except in dreams
the droll of rolling thunder.
Bbooming echo boils over hills
crashing close to give me chills
the energy of impeding storm
electrify my soul, dance to shrill winds.
How on nights such as these
out of the many things I miss
the one I seem to miss most
is the sound of rolling thunder
echos through my soul
echos through my soul
echos through my soul
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Re: Thunder song
(User Rating: 1 ) by NoSaint on
Sunday, 6th March 2011 @ 08:20:53 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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hauntingly beautiful my friend
shari |
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Re: Thunder song
(User Rating: 1 ) by eggflipper on
Sunday, 6th March 2011 @ 04:39:31 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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a zen moment calling. Finding oneself in the chaotic moments of life. Searching for oneself and finding these moments are rare opprotunities. well done my friend. It is great to read your work again. |
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