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My last tear has fallen
Contributed by
cssdman
on
Friday, 25th February 2011 @ 09:46:15 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I've been hurt and I've been lied too. I draw a line in the sand, but it just keeps getting moved back. Farther and farther, until I'm trapped. I've aloud this much, what is a little more. The lies and half truths keep coming, as do my tears and hurt. When will it end? Why is she doing this? How can she tell me she loves me and show me so much love and attention and then turn it off and stand me up, not respond to my texts and calls and just leave me wondering and hurt. She tells me she wants to move in with me, but is playing family with someone else. Tells me it is temporary and they are just sharing a place for money reasons, and how she wants to live with me, but is fixing their place up and is unhappy her best friend can't come down to live with her. The stories and time lines don’t add up, but my tears and pain do... Their stacking up and eating me up. If she wants to live with me then what difference does it make if her friend can't live with her? Lies on lies, sewn together with half truth, mixed with a sweet smile and an, I love you baby. Texts not answer and calls not returned, life in turmoil, when will it end? When will I put my foot down? Who will out last who? Will my strength be enough to out last her lies and disseat? Or will she beat me down into someone who is dead inside. I've come back from that before and was getting stronger, but now I'm feeling it's pull again, pulling me back... back under that dark blanket of self doubt and mistrust. How can I be jealous of a woman I know is not true to me? How can I expect her to be honest with me? She tells me she is still texting the guy she cheated on me with and asks me why do I not trust her since she is being honest? How can she not see that texting him is killing me? That still having his picture in her phones hurts me? Does she know or does she just not care? It's like I'm in love with 3 women, this beautiful sweetheart of a woman who tells me she wants to marry me and have our child and wants to be a step mom to my kids and move in and she has found in me the man of her dreams and she has never been happier. Then there is the women who is withdrawn and does not return my texts or calls and if she does she does not respond to them and is very short, she does not want to do anything and when we talk I seem to bother her more then I cheer her up. I'm talking to her today, it's not hate or love in her voice, it's boredom, or maybe just frustrated, maybe with me or herself or just her lot in life... Maybe all 3. Then there is the women who cheated on me, who can tell text me that she loves me from the guys house she is cheating on me with and then be having sex with him 30 minutes later. Who can ask me to translate the Spanish nick names he is calling her, who can call me on the way to his place and not think twice about it. Who can make more of an effort to see some guy who does not even take her places or anything, but chase him nonetheless. Who tries to make some super man by taking the party fun guy from one guy, the loving caring guy from me who takes her out and does everything for her, and the part from her ex that he can give her a child that will be her daughters full brother or sister. I love the one girl more then life it's self, but the other two kill me slowly every time I see them. So do I deal with the hurt and pain, for the times of joy that I feel? I don't know, I'm not happy again and she is not happy again. We had 2 weeks of love and now it seems to be gone. How long will it be before she goes back to that guy? I will have no choice but to leave her then. To cut her out of my life, to show her that I know what she did and everything she is doing. To force my hand and put her in her place. To end her world of lies by telling all the players in it what I know and open it up to them, to show them the player that is wrapped up in this girl. I grow to hate her at times and my tears are falling less and less, but the pain is still there. I don't know if I'm stronger or just all cried out. Either way, my last tear has fallen.
Copyright ©
cssdman
... [
2011-02-25 09:46:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My last tear has fallen
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tomboy on
Friday, 25th February 2011 @ 09:53:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow...blows me away! |
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Re: My last tear has fallen
(User Rating: 1 )
by lonelyguy92 on
Friday, 25th February 2011 @ 01:06:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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*sigh* I can relate to this poem, very touching... good write
Lonelyguy92, |
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