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Loneliness

Contributed by Dirkj on Wednesday, 23rd February 2011 @ 10:45:29 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry



She lies on the floor
Half naked
Clothes torn
The four walls
Coming closer and closer

An eye wink at her
Then a tear fall
Like soft rain
Her cheeks are getting
Wetter and wetter

Her eyes are wild
Like a crazed
Animal in a cage

The walls are going to crush her
She can feel it
As the fear Bites into her skin

Then she wakes up
In a familiar room
Loneliness
The greatest killer




Copyright © Dirkj ... [ 2011-02-23 22:45:29]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Loneliness (User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on Wednesday, 23rd February 2011 @ 11:22:21 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
It all makes sense to me but the ending, but only because of the fact I can't see it as a killer, unless it kills her slowly, or if it's in itself a prison. Either way it's a great poem.


Re: Loneliness (User Rating: 1 )
by mvvenkataraman on Friday, 25th February 2011 @ 08:45:41 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Dear Poet,

I have had great loneliness
Our country was primitive
Getting the company of a girl
Happened only after marriage

I wandered here and there
With the saddest thoughts
I was aloof and terribly sad
I was severely hit by sorrow

I could not end my life
As I hoped for the best
I know God is with me
He resides in my heart

But, I have had the depression
I have suffered doom and gloom
Even now I take medicines
Fortunately I have God-faith

God is indeed great
Let us cling to his feet
Let us pray always
Surely time will change

We must hope and trust
Our faith must be colossal
Our peace of mind to grow
We must plant on land joy.

A nice write,

With best wishes, Thanking you, yours truly,

mvvenkataraman




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