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In the darkness, by your solitude... An angel spoke
Contributed by
Phantom
on
Wednesday, 23rd February 2011 @ 10:07:26 AM in AEST
Topic:
mystical
|
Hear me be; Mortal!
Follow thy command
I was created from Fire
But you were created from sand!
Yes, this world is so unjust
This world is so unfair!
But I shall give you everything, I shall give you lust
And together, in the face of fate we shall dare.
It is to reign in hell
Than to serve in heaven
Thou ultimate secret I shall tell
If you commit thy deadly sins of seven
Is it pride that you desire ?
Is it fame that you seek ?
Just remember, I'm the one who was created from fire
And I'm the only, who can make you at the mountain's peak
Prithee! Haven't you heard of Adam's tree ?!
Will you be like your father ?
With cowardice, from the challenge you flee!
But not you, you're not like any another
----------------------------
- At that time-
It's the Day of Justice! It's Doomsday!
All mortals ! Rise up from the Grave!
Every creature made of light, fire or clay!
Every so-called God, king or slave!
Blame me not!; Your the one who followed my instruction!
But now that fate has taken your soul
Pride goes before destruction
And a haughty spirit before a fall...
Copyright ©
Phantom
... [
2011-02-23 10:07:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In the darkness, by your solitude... An angel spoke
(User Rating: 1 )
by RachelSixx on
Wednesday, 23rd February 2011 @ 03:50:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I enjoyed this a lot. It's beautifully written and flows great. I love the whole idea. Great job! |
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Re: In the darkness, by your solitude... An angel spoke
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Wednesday, 23rd February 2011 @ 10:04:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I know it should be obvious that it's the devil/satan/lucifer talking, but I find myself wondering if it really is or not. I don't bring this idea to your poem to ruin a story, as to me a poem generally refers to a story you have the reader create themself with only minor help from your words, but I can't help seeing a different version of this. I don't see an apocalypse, I don't see an evil demi-god, or fallen angel if you will. I see difference. If you would like to know what it is I think of that could be so radically different I'd be glad to tell you in a PM. |
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Re: In the darkness, by your solitude... An angel spoke
(User Rating: 1 )
by cashfan1 on
Friday, 25th February 2011 @ 02:35:54 AM AEST
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| Well written. This captures the imagination beautifully. The flow is gentle and inspiring. Well done. |
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Re: In the darkness, by your solitude... An angel spoke
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Saturday, 26th February 2011 @ 03:39:32 PM AEST
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As always a strong write my friend
Shari |
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